Pat on the back doesn’t pay the bills.

Below is my expression when I would do well at my jobs, and was never rewarded with cash.

brunette 3

I am one of those people who is incredibly driven, independent, and competitive. Anything you can do I can do better. Seriously. Unfortunately, I can also become the employee from hell LOL. I remember I worked at Ulta for one month when I was 17, and then was fired. I really didn’t give a fuck. Why? The pay was shitty, the discount sucked, and I hated facing. Oh, and they wanted us to get people to sign up for this shitty fashion magazine, in addition to their rewards program with absolutely no monetary gain. You want to motivate people? Pay them.

I worked for an agency. I was hands down one of the most creative people there. I got shit done. I got shit done quick. I was able to get clients on some pretty cool blogs. You think I got a raise? Nope. I quit. Caio!

I’ve worked for people who wrote nasty emails about how I was stupid; they made me cry, they cut like a knife, but you know what fuck them. They were in debt, and hated themselves, so naturally they took it out on someone else. I admit to being a dingbat at times, but I am far from dumb. Nasty comments have only made me stronger. You want to call me dumb? Go ahead. Have fun. TWAT!

I’ve worked around people who are lazy, uncreative, and have no major goals. They make you so depressed after a while. Its like they gave up on life, and the highlight of their year is when Starbucks puts out the holiday drinks.

All of these companies had one thing in common, they failed to realize a pat on the back doesnt pay the bills. If you want to keep a team of MVP’s you have to pay them, and reward them.




Shitty People You Probably Worked with.

I have worked countless jobs, and disliked many of them because of the idiots I was forced to pretend to like. Office jobs are the absolute WORST for someone with my personality type. I am a creative space caddet so after a while being in the same environment, sitting at the same fucking desk, doing the same fucking tasks and working with the same people makes me feel suicidal. So, I have comprised a list of shitty people you probably work with or will have the honor of working with.

#1.) The bimbo who does absolutely nothing, but gets ahead because she fucked the right guy. The brutal truth is many people climb up the ladder in their company who are totally unqualified, and have the mind of a rocking chair,because they rode the right dick.

#2.) The moron who is pointless, does not do their job well, but continues to get chance after chance before finally getting fired. I once worked with a moron who told us a story about how some guy put the date rape drug in her drink but she was super stoked he chose her because she was fat. I threw a dart at her head at an office party and her head popped.

#3.) The person who takes their job wayyyyyy too seriously! I once worked with an over competitive chick at a popular sunglass store who was so competitive about selling $200 worth of plastic. I’m sorry but the commission was super low…so I personally gave zero fucks.

#4.) The manager that will forever be a manager at some shitty retail job because they never had the nerve to chase after their dreams, or they had a kid at 20 and got married at 21 and thought their career options were limited. This manager will try and discourage you from chasing your dreams. Don’t listen to them they will always make a few bucks over minimum wage selling t-shirts that were made in China.

#5.) The stoner that sits at their desk and calls you a diva when you message them multiple times to fix your computer!

#6.) The grown up mean girls who talk shit about the people they will never be as good as.



Bad Employees Protect Eachother

The truth hurts, and I am always hear to provide you with a substantial amount of pain. JK 🙂 No, but really.

scumbag-employee_c_975293  I have spent a decent amount of my life working. I have worked in retail, food service, radio, and marketing. I know a thing or two about shitty co-workers…:)

#1. Women can be catty. I remember an internship I had where one girl who might I add was much older than me said a whole bunch of bs behind my back, but acted nice to my face..that was the beginning of my experience with office politics, and how people will go to great lengths to push each other down.

#2. Shitty workers stick together, and protect one another. Look, if you’re intelligent, and a good worker, you’re automatically a threat to people who do jack shit. Eventually they will gang up on you to get rid of you, it’s an awesome tactic, and it definitely works, but what terrible workers fail to realize is bad employees do not make a company rise, they make it crash and burn…because like Steve Jobs explained..the second you hire a B employee the company starts to tank, because that B employee will hire a C and so forth. Bad employees stick together to protect one another.

#3. I absolutely love my job, and the company I work for. My boss is absolutely incredible, and a wonderful person. He cares about his employees, and gives us creative freedom, and we all laugh, and have so much fun working together, and because of this we succeed. Companies thrive when employees are paid well, and when the environment is happy. The atmosphere is also amazing when people work as a team, and legitimately care about one another, and have zero interest in tearing each other apart. Love, and passion make the ship sail, hate and jealous make it sink.

#4. If a worker does a no call no show and does not have a great reason…fire them. They’ll do it again I promise.

#5. If a worker likes to point fingers at everyone else’s direction its because they’re immature and probably don’t do jack squat. If they have so much time to figure out everyone’s business, it’s probably a strong indication they’re not doing much.

#6. Nobody wants to be micromanaged, it sucks, however, there are tons of people that need it, because they are not self motivated.

#7. When someone cares about you, they do not base their opinion of you based on what others tell them, they form one on their own.

#8. I wouldn’t hire most of my friends. I know people I enjoy hanging out with, but there is no way in hell, I would ever want to work with them, because they’re lazy, and constantly need guidance.

#9. You want to get through to someone? Do it through humor. Not kidding. It works like a charm. I don’t like to be mean, because I don’t like hurting people. Id rather be the one hurting than inflicting the pain.