Mirror, Mirror on the wall..it’s okay to be a narcissist after all.

One time in middle school this girl told me I had a big nose. I said lucky for me, it will never match the size of my ego.

I’m a narcissist. A cold-blooded…narcissist. I don’t see this as a bad thing though. Sure, I am a bit self centered, think I’m special, and like power but why is this so bad? I may not empathize well with people, but I do so with animals. I’m super honest, and would never screw anyone over I liked, or have a neutral relationship with. I’m not out to be harmful.

What these shrink writers fail to explain is that the most successful people in the world are fucking narcissists!!!! You think Steve Jobs wasn’t a narcissist? You think Prince wasn’t a narcissist? The list can go on. A narcissist is egotiscial they believe they can change the world, and they usually do.

I don’t see anything wrong with knowing I can achieve great things with my life, and gain notoriety for doing so. I don’t see anything wrong with utilizing my talents to get me somewhere in life, or with enjoying being on a stage getting laughs for what I created.


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Revenge of the simpletons

If I could write a horror film, it would be entitled Revenge of The Simpletons. I find simple people rather frightening, and a bit confusing. Simple people are contempt with being complacent. They do not think outside of the box and rarely have extraordinary minds. I hate being surrounded by people like this; they make me feel so depressed. They annoy me because they think their point of views are so normal but what they dont seem to understand is what is normal? If I woke up tomorrow in a house in suburbia with a husband, a kid and a baby on the way I would be sad. I wasn’t meant to be “normal”. I was meant to do crazy, cool shit with my life, and I will accomplish anything I said out to do. Simpletons see me as the enemy, or odd, or weird, or wrong and I just see them as pests. Like the mosquito I just want to swat! bradybunch

What’s a filter?

Once upon a time my family moved from Long Island, New York to Gilbert, Arizona and everything drastically changed.

For Arizona.

Just kidding.

People in the Southwest are much different than my Italian, Brooklyn parents mostly because too many of them are easily offended and cant really handle the brutal truth. I wasn’t really raised with a filter, I was raised to speak my mind and for those that are offended my what I say I honestly do not care. Here’s a tissue. Perhaps, you just start a gofundme account to buy a backbone.

I get annoyed at people that have issues with the stuff that I say because I really don’t care. I speak my mind and sometimes it’s brutal but why must I say sorry? Usually the rants and complains come from people who take stuff personally, I never really write anything to personally target someone, I’m not a bully.

I am not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed. That is the truth.



To some degree, I am still a feisty teenager and I refuse to let the flame die out. I think being feisty makes me extraordinary and I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. And neither should you.

Why do some people feel the need to tell you how to live your life? When they do this to me it transforms me into a rebelliois teenager that lacks a filter. Don’t tell me how to think or how to live my life because that’s the way you live yours. There is no “right” way to live, so please shut your mouth. We are all unique humans and nobody should feel alienated, or brainwashed into believing the way they are living is incorrect.

The people that tend to do this are usually unhappy. I am not even kidding. So, you’re telling me to live like you but you’re miserable? I guess the saying is true misery needs company and they’re probably lonely. If you’re so lonely find a friend. Please don’t tell the rest of us how to live.

Red Sweat Shirt Dumbass

I always have crazy titles, because they make my blog posts appear interesting. I guess you can call it “false” advertising, but whatever, today’s post is about a guy in a red sweat shirt.

I am very much attracted to funny men, because they are usually ballsy, know how to have a good time, and I find it easy to open up to them. I am one of those people that has issues with allowing people to get to know me on an emotional level, because it makes me feel powerless. I have some issues…but don’t we all? Anyways, lets call this idiot RSSD. RSSD seemed really cool, but unfortunately, he made the six year old selling lemonade on the street corner appear mature. We only hung out twice, and it was clearly just that, there was nothing romantic behind our hang outs, we just shared one similar interest, and I am not going to say what it is. The second time we hung out he had the nerve to sit there and stick earphones in his ears, who does that???? I should have just walked out, but I didn’t, I stayed, and I am going to turn a negative experience with a dipshit into comedic inspiration..:)

RSSD is a brat, and at one point so was I. Let me explain, I grew up spoiled, and my parents always catered to me, and gave me more than enough, but eventually I grew out of that spoiled brat obnoxious give me my way or the highway mentality. Rotten people are drawn to those types, and who the hell wants to attract that? RSSD wants what he wants when he wants it and when he doesn’t get his way he acts out like a little boy. Like I did as a child when I threw a temper tantrum because  my parents wouldn’t get my a toy I wanted.

RSSD only wanted to hang out with me, because his dick wanted to chill inside of my vagina. I was definitely attracted to him, but wasn’t ready for that yet, and thats when his true colors started to show. That’s when he acted like a child, was in a pissy ass mood, and stuck those ear phones in his ears. My advice to RSSD is if you only want sex be straight forward about it, because you will attract another girl that just wants sex, and then you don’t have to act like a little boy, because you will get your way. My second piece of advice is you’re not 19 anymore, you are a grown man, and should know better by now. You should know that you need to RESPECT women, because clearly you don’t.

Happy Hump Day


Bad Employees Protect Eachother

The truth hurts, and I am always hear to provide you with a substantial amount of pain. JK 🙂 No, but really.

scumbag-employee_c_975293  I have spent a decent amount of my life working. I have worked in retail, food service, radio, and marketing. I know a thing or two about shitty co-workers…:)

#1. Women can be catty. I remember an internship I had where one girl who might I add was much older than me said a whole bunch of bs behind my back, but acted nice to my face..that was the beginning of my experience with office politics, and how people will go to great lengths to push each other down.

#2. Shitty workers stick together, and protect one another. Look, if you’re intelligent, and a good worker, you’re automatically a threat to people who do jack shit. Eventually they will gang up on you to get rid of you, it’s an awesome tactic, and it definitely works, but what terrible workers fail to realize is bad employees do not make a company rise, they make it crash and burn…because like Steve Jobs explained..the second you hire a B employee the company starts to tank, because that B employee will hire a C and so forth. Bad employees stick together to protect one another.

#3. I absolutely love my job, and the company I work for. My boss is absolutely incredible, and a wonderful person. He cares about his employees, and gives us creative freedom, and we all laugh, and have so much fun working together, and because of this we succeed. Companies thrive when employees are paid well, and when the environment is happy. The atmosphere is also amazing when people work as a team, and legitimately care about one another, and have zero interest in tearing each other apart. Love, and passion make the ship sail, hate and jealous make it sink.

#4. If a worker does a no call no show and does not have a great reason…fire them. They’ll do it again I promise.

#5. If a worker likes to point fingers at everyone else’s direction its because they’re immature and probably don’t do jack squat. If they have so much time to figure out everyone’s business, it’s probably a strong indication they’re not doing much.

#6. Nobody wants to be micromanaged, it sucks, however, there are tons of people that need it, because they are not self motivated.

#7. When someone cares about you, they do not base their opinion of you based on what others tell them, they form one on their own.

#8. I wouldn’t hire most of my friends. I know people I enjoy hanging out with, but there is no way in hell, I would ever want to work with them, because they’re lazy, and constantly need guidance.

#9. You want to get through to someone? Do it through humor. Not kidding. It works like a charm. I don’t like to be mean, because I don’t like hurting people. Id rather be the one hurting than inflicting the pain.

Letter to My Parents

I love you. Even though I go toe to toe with you on a regular basis, and disagree with a significant amount of your idiotic beliefs, I now realize how lucky I am. You gave me everything I ever wanted and more, plus provided me with a safe home, and not everyone got that lucky. I used to think my childhood upbringing was everyone’s upbringing, and I was so wrong. I just wanted to say thank you for teaching me to be thick skinned, and to voice my opinion when I know something is wrong, thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself, and thank you for providing me with a loving home, and the best childhood anyone good every imagine.


My friend offered me some valuable advice, she told me when miserable people try and tear you down ignore them, don’t fight with them, because the second you give in they win.

Some people are unhappy with their lives, and in order to make themselves feel better they try and attack others. I am getting at a point in my life where I choose to not give a fuck about these people, and their bitter attacks leave them #blocked. If you message me on any social media site attacking the way I live, or picking apart my personality when your advice was not asked, I am going to block you. I find it annoying when broken people try to take shots at me, because I am so put together. I live my life the way I want to, and I am happy. I live where I want to, because it makes me happy…got it? I wasn’t put on this earth to be “normal”, and that is okay. I don’t bash other peoples lifestyle, goals, or desires, because I have no business doing so.

You know who likes to take digs at me the most? Broken men I rejected. I am not obligated to sleep with every guy that wants to sleep with me. I am not obligated to date every guy that wants to date me. I am not obligated to be emotionally interested in every guy that is emotionally interested in me. I have been rejected too, and I don’t whine like a little baby, or attack the guy that didn’t like me. I get over it and move on, because everyone has been in that situation before.

Male Translations

Some broads just don’t get it.

I have always had a shit done of male friends, because I get along with men better than women. I like guys, because they’re more straightforward, and they don’t get mad over stupid shit, and they don’t act catty. I also have a really dirty sense of humor, and it pisses some broads off, and I don’t give a flying fuck, I have an offensive mouth, get over it. Some females just cant read men, or they’re delusional or they’re in denial, but here are some male translations, take it or leave it, the truth hurts.

He says: Want to come over and watch a movie?

He Means: Want to come over and have sex with me?

He isn’t being an asshole. Which one sounds better? Which one sounds more appealing? Exactly.

He says: I don’t want a relationship with you.

He means: I just wanna bang you.

It is what it is.

He says: I don’t have time for a relationship right now.

He means: I just wanna bang you.

The truth hurts. Deal with it.

He says: I don’t have time to have sex this week.

He means: I have another chick, and I am just keeping you in my phone book in case it doesn’t work out with her.

He says: I don’t like girls that wear a lot of makeup, because they’re vain and high maintenance.

He means: I’m intimidated by you, because you’re attractive, and a lot of guys want to bang you OR some girl that wore a lot of makeup fucked me over, therefore I try to date someone that’s the complete opposite of her, because than it will work out!

He says: You’re stupid.

He means: You’re attractive and I am afraid of you, therefore, I am going to take some stereotypical dig at you to make you feel bad about yourself.

He says: You’re a really pretty girl, and I really like you.

He means: Just that exactly that no bullshit.

He says: You drive me insane.

He means: I’m starting to fall in love with you.

Sometimes You’re the Filet Mignon & Sometimes You’re the Cheeseburger

You’re probably thinking….wtf are you talking about, you smoked too much yesterday.

Naw, I actually do not smoke weed, or anything for that matter…sorry to disappoint you.

I am talking about women, and to all you feminists out there that will bitch about how I am about to compare women to meat, click the x on the upper left hand corner, because I have a valid point, and I do not wish to argue with you.

Ladies, sometimes you’re the filet mignon and sometimes you’re the cheeseburger.

The filet mignon represents a chick a guy truly likes. Filet mignon is much harder to get, because it is seen as more desirable, expensive, and not everyone can have it. Its a lot of work to get your hands on a piece of this delicacy, therefore when a guy wants it he will go the extra mile to get it. If a guy really likes you, he will go the extra mile for you. He will make sure he puts you in to his schedule, he will make sure he communicates with you on a regular basis, he will respect you, he will take you out, and last but not least he will not try to sleep with you right away, because he is interested in more than just sex.

The cheeseburger is the chick a guy eats, because he is hungry and needs something to fill him up. The cheeseburger is quick and easy to get, and they’re everywhere. It is much easier for a guy to get his hands on a cheap cheeseburger, and they all eat them. They continue to eat them until they find themselves dining on filet mignon, and then the cheeseburger gets placed in the garbage can.

I think women get confused, and feel like men are misleading them, but that isn’t the case, because men are straightforward with their ACTIONS. Men cannot communicate as well as women, or sometimes they choose not to avoid conflict. They let you know how they feel by their actions. If a guy ignores you, he is ignoring you because he does not give a flying fuck about you. If you’re sleeping with a guy that ignores you, I hate to break it to you, but you’re the cheeseburger. If you’re sleeping with him, and he isn’t taking you out on dates, or showing emotional interest, you’re the cheeseburger. If he isn’t affectionate during sex, you’re the cheeseburger. If he doesn’t want you to stay over after sex, you’re the cheeseburger. If he untags your tags on Facebook, you’re definitely the cheeseburger. If he is hanging out with the other girls, and its all over social media, you’re the cheeseburger.

I think a lot of women are in denial, because they don’t want to believe they’re the cheeseburger, and that’s okay, because every female has been a cheeseburger. If you don’t want to be the cheeseburger then you need to find a guy that wants to date you, and not just bang you. If he is showing signs that he doesn’t care, he legitimately doesn’t care! Guys don’t play games.