Marriage is not interesting.

 

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To me.

I am at that age where all every girl wants to do is get married. I get asked on a regular basis..the infamous when are you going to get married? I do not have any interest in marriage…here is why.

I think relationships are like a baseball game.

Right now I am one of the star players, because, I am young, fast and have the ability to score at a rapid pace. This is not going to last forever. Time will take away my youth and will force me out of the game and when that time comes, I will get married.

Society likes to tell women they must get married in their 20’s because that is when their beauty peaks and they have more shots at finding a suitable partner. Dear society…you can kiss my ass. I think women get hotter in their 30’s and 40’s because they have a substantial amount of life experience under their belt, and they seem to become more sexually secure. I also believe marriage would work better if people settled down later in life. As far as babies are concerned, it is 2016 if you’re financially secure have a kid…you do not need a fancy cake and a piece of paper to determine that decision.

Thoughts?

I have another show coming up on January 24th at 9pm at El Bar. COME SEE ME! There will be lots of great comics!!

 3256 Cahuenga Blvd W, Los Angeles, CA 90068

https://twitter.com/JaclynAshley79 

 

 

 

 

 

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#TBT Fuck Beauty

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I was a realllyyyyyyy cute kid, and because of it, I was able to raise havoc and get away with it. Cute kids can pull stunts like that, but it wasn’t my cuteness that people around me focused on, it was my brains. I was always really bright, and incredibly creative, and I still am.

I am alittle sick and tired of blogs, memes, billboards, ads, magazines, etc trying to portray this “we are all beautiful bullshit”, no matter your size, age, color, height, gender, you get it, because it’s bullshit. I want to make a gigantic billboard that says “No matter what you look like you will get old, and ugly” end of story. Why can’t we focus on stuff that actually matters? Cindy Crawford was a super model in the 90s, she looks old, wrinkly, and ugly to me…her looks faded, just like every other pretty girl’s will. They don’t last forever. So, why can’t we focus on stuff that actually matters? Why not teach people that being genuine, is a whole lot cooler than being pretty, and being witty will actually get you farther than pretty. It will also attract people who GENUINELY give a flying fuck about you. Pretty people get used, that’s  one of the reasons why so many of them are screwed up in the head. They are constantly being judged.

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The 80’S Cult Classic..That Made Killing Cool

The classic teen comedy, Mean Girls was released into theaters a decade ago, it coined the phrase “so fetch”, and is probably Lindsay Lohan’s most famous role. Long before Regina George was terrorizing her high school peers, there was a different Queen B, she went by the name Heather Chandler, and unlike Regina who gets redeemed at the end of the film, Chandler is murdered by her “best friend”, played by a young Winona Ryder. Heather Chandler is the ultimate villain, she is the bitch from middle school everyone wanted to punch in the face, and the bully from the playground in elementary that pushed you down the slide. There is nothing redeemable about her character, and this is why when she is murdered, it is difficult to feel any sort of remorse for her. 

Heathers is a dark comedy about a girl that desperately wants to get out of the “it” crowd, because she sees how superficial, mean and nasty they are. They believe they are superior to the entire school, and spend their days tormenting innocent classmates. She gets into a romantic relationship with the “new kid” in school, and together they begin murdering a few of their classmates, and staging them as suicides. At the end of the movie he attempts to kill the entire school, because he believes that the only place all social cliques can get along is in heaven. This is where the film gets deep…even though CJ is indeed insane, and killing the whole school in an attempt to prove a point is uncalled for; he is right, in a way high school does show how people of different beliefs, backgrounds, and social status’s will never genuinely get along. This goes for adulthood, humans form bonds with others that are like themselves, and a significant amount form judgments on others based on their appearance. 

The characters that fall victim to CJ’s schemes are the assholes that he believes had nothing to offer the school, but vulgar jokes and constant stupidity. I do admit I have to fast forward through the jocks getting shot, because it was a bit too gruesome for my taste, but the funeral scene was classic. I love Heathers dark humor, and deep points in regards to human behavior. I wish modern day teen comedies were this cool.

Your FAT!

You know that three letter word people often get their panties in a bunch about? NO, I am NOT referring to sex. I am talking about fat. Women around the globe are constantly on a diet, because they look in the mirror and see a fat girl. Do not get me wrong, obesity is a growing epidemic and can perpetuate a number of health problems. The keyword there is health, and the majority of women are not diets for health purposes, their primary motivation is to look better.

This is where the problem arises. I think all women should remove the term FAT from their vocabulary. Never resort to labeling yourself such a repulsive term, because it will only fuel your insecurities. Instead face the problem, and come to terms with the fact that you are over weight and need to shed some pounds. You are still sexy and worthy of people’s respect. Nobody should discriminate against you, or make you feel inferior because of a number on a scale. 

Look in the mirror and pick out what you like about yourself. Then decide upon what you would like to change, and figure out a POSITIVE way to do it. Do not starve yourself, go on some bizarre, wacky, stupid ass diet or attempt to conquer a difficult exercise regime when you can barely do 15 minutes walking on the tread mill. 

You will never look like any other woman, EVER. You are one of a kind; there are no replicas. Isn’t that awesome? Why would you want to look like another woman, when you are amazing? You will never be perfect, because that just does not exist. 

You are already sexy, you only want to lose weight to improve your health, it is not all about appearance. Beauty fades. 

What are your thoughts!