I thought i was a unicorn but I’m really a pigeon WTF…..

Last week, I stumbled across this book entitled “Men Don’t Love Women Like You”. I have no idea how I came across it, as I Google tons of shit all the fucking time, but needless to say I am glad I did. I can’t put it down! Everything this guy says is completely relatable, and there are so many things I do wrong in terms of dating.

For starters, he goes into major detail about how NOT to become a placeholder. A placeholder is a girl a guy is dating, but deep down he will never be truly committed or emotionally devoted to her. He said a guy will make you his girlfriend even if you’re just a placeholder, some men have even fucking MARRIED placeholders! WTF. He goes into great detail about signs you’re just a placeholder, and how to avoid becoming one. (I dont feel like writing them too long)

Here is the part that truly captivated me…ok so, I’m a NARC, and like most NARCS I think I am special. Like a unicorn, like no guy in the history of mankind has ever met someone like me..well turns out in the world of dating I’m a PIGEON LOL. He explains how if you start dating a guy….chances are he has dated someone similar to you..women tend to tell men too much in the beginning, we let our guard down if we feel too comfortable too fast…and that gives the guy power. So, all he has to do is go ok Jaclyn is an Alpha like Tina was, but she is also a dipstick like Melanie was and BOOM he figures out how to play me, if I reveal too many details too quickly.

Here is ANOTHER kicker! I’m a Millennial, and men of my generation are royal fucks. I hate most of them. So, I usually date Gen X, because I like my men a little bit older (35-38 range). These guys know how to DATE you. They’re usually not the Netflix and Chill type unless they’re broke losers. When a guy takes you on multiple dates and does not try to fuck you usually assume he likes you for more than just sex. WRONG. If you sleep with him after six dates, and he loses interest right after the sex, or his behavior changes…it was about sex all along, he just had a more gentlemen approach about going about it. But he still just wanted to get that D in your V 🙂

Kicker #2. I dated one broke loser last year, and after him I will never ever date a guy who is not financially stable. Ever. Financial stability is #1 on my check list. The author sides with me. The author hates dating apps, because he knows you only attract the loser Netflix & Chill types. He is all about a girl going on dates, and guess who should pay? The man. The broke loser I dated never took me out, and was totally clueless about how to be a real man. Part of the reason as to why I dumped him was because he was broke. The others were he was stupid, insecure, and jealous. I am at the point in my life where I dont have time for broke. I have a lot of choices when it comes to dating; I will never settle for a broke loser.

I am learning about ALL the things I do WRONG! Like this last dude, I opened up to him too fast, I liked him, got emotionally attached, and allowed him to fuck with me. I was in la la land, and he did not feel the same way, I was a placeholder, and because I really liked him..I ignored the red flags. Because he made me feel good. After reading this book, I will never be a placeholder again. FUCK THAT NOISE.

I have a whole new way of looking at dating, and the way I approach it. I also learned that I can be a really shitty partner LMAO. Like I am a total bully sometimes, and a huge brat. I try and boss men around to get them to do what I want, and for years I got away with it, or thought I did. Its probably one of the reasons as to why I get dumped a lot. I am also not as good with communication as I thought I was ooopssss! You can’t assume everything, or Google the answers to shit (thats what I do because I have trust issues) you have to ask the person you are dating straight up. With this last guy we shall call him LB. I should have asked LB if he wanted a relationship with me, or saw one in the near future…but I didn’t. I assumed he did not want one because of his behavior. I felt like I was getting dicked around, but I never came out and asked him the question. After reading this book, even if he entered a relationship with me it would have been a complete waste of my time because I was just a placeholder. He even told me I wasn’t his type. I could have wasted months of my life on this guy because he made me “feel” good. I am so glad I came across this book, I will never make the dipshit mistakes I have made in the past….those days are overrrrrrrrr.

I have a new date coming up soon, and will approach it a whole new way 🙂

The book is $10 on iTunes…buy it 🙂

Advertisements

Words of Wisdom…Let it Be

I thought I would write this post up super duper quick before I start this crazy ass day. I know a thing or two about life.

#1.) Communication is crucial for any type of a relationship. Whether it is a friendship, a co-worker, or someone you are dating, a lack of communication can cause a lot of trouble.

#2.) Not everyone is going to like you, who gives a fuck.

#3.) You are not going to succeed at everything you want to succeed in you will fail, and that is cool, everyone does.

#4.) Don’t use drugs to make you thin, you will get fat again.

#5.)  You will outgrow friends. It happens.

#6.) We all fucking die, chase your dreams.

#7.) We all fucking die, chase the person you love even if you think you’re going to get burned…

#8.) Sex is super good for you.

#9.) Fucking is cool too as long as nobody gets hurt.

#10.) Sometimes you cannot see the red flags because they are covered by fire works,  enjoy the view anyway, passion is fun.

#11.) If he was a bad guy at once it doesnt mean he is now, people change, people grow.

#12.) If he is a shitty father it shows a lot about his character.

#13) Cuddling is fun, and helps you get good sleep.

#14.) Kissing is the best, it takes you back to high school, nothing like teen love.

#15.) You have to learn from your mistakes, if you continue to do the same shit you’re a fucking moron.

#16.) We all get played, but it makes us stronger players.

#17.) Taylor Swift is usually dead on.

#18.) Guys tell your girl she is beautiful, even if lots of people do, she needs to hear it from you too.

#19.) We all get burned, but it makes our skin stronger.

#20.) Do drugs for fun, not to subside pain.

#21.) Turn your pain into art.

#22.) Try Kombucha its insanely delicious.

#23.) Take long walks.

#24.) Get your oil changed on time.

#25.) Write all your feelings down.

#26.) Cry. It makes shit better.

#27.) Read even if its articles, read.

#28.) Do Cardio.

#29.) Sometimes you need therapy, its all good, so see one.

#30.) We are all flawed, and have issues.

#31.) Learn to be captivated by yourself.

#32.) A litte narcissism never hurt nobody.

#33.) Alittle vulnerability never hurt nobody.

#34.) Its okay to admit you’re good at something.

#35.) Learn to save your money, I am so bad at this I am always broke lol.

#36.) Don’t waste your energy on dumb shit it aint worth it.

#37.) Be a good friend.

 

 

 

Crisis Chicks.

Pretty much all of my relationships fail. There are gum balls that have lasted longer than some of my relationships. There are people who often wonder why I don’t have a boyfriend. I am fairly bright, self sufficient & I’m not ugly. Well here’s the deal I’m a pain in the ass.

-I am not one of those broads who likes every damn photo of the guy I am with.

-I am not some broad who is going to tell a guy how amazing he is 24/7. I’m not like that. I just expect the guy to know I really dig him. I mean I send them kissy face emojis what more do they want?

-I have ADHD & well I’m narcissistic. But Im not the type of narc that hurts people intentionally to get ahead. I could never do that. It would make me feel awful.

-I get easily distracted and bored. My shrink asked me if I have ever suffered from depression, and anxiety. I know I have anxiety, because I bite my nails all the time, and have done so since I was a child. I also used to pull my hair out as a kid anytime I got sick because my mom made me feel so scared. I used to get really high fevers, and would be sick for weeks, and she made it much, much worse. I don’t think i have depression….I explained to her that whenever I have an office job…eventually i start to cry everyday…and she said because you constantly need to be stimulated. So, this also applies to dating. If a guy cant stimulate me I get distracted and bored. And then dump him, or he gets annoyed by it and dumps me.

-I’m no damsel in distress. I think guys like girls who come across as helpless, and whiny because these types are ego strokers. like a chick who is always in crisis is probably going to be the one to tell you how great you are 24/7, and will kiss your ass. I’m too busy getting shit done. I’m not a crisis chick.

-I’m broken and i dont need you to fix me.

 

xoxoxox- Jaclyn

 

Good Sex.

I was watching Shameless, and it made me think about the great sex I used to have with this green eyed hunk.

When I was 21, I fell in love. I thought this guy was everything…well sexually LOL. He taught me what really good sex was and ever since him I have not found someone as wonderful as him.

#1.) Foreplay. It assists in making the sex more passionate. It also shows the guy is willing to take his time, and isn’t trying to rush things so he can get to the finish line faster.

#2.) When you’re both in sync with each other on an emotional level.

#3.) When you’re both willing to try new things.

#4.) Good kissing. A guy who is a fantastic kisser is like the ultimate turn on.You would be surprised as to how many are terrible kissers.

Bad Sex…

What is bad sex? Bad sex is when you would rather read the encyclopedia than be intimate with that person. Bad sex is when that person can’t get inside of your mind, and screw you. You get my drift? Here is a list I created from my personal sexual experiences.

#1.) Your sex partner is inexperienced, but feels the need to dominate. Someone who is sexually inexperienced should back off, and learn from the person who has been around the block a couple of times. As a heterosexual female, I have only been intimate with males, so this issues might be more common for us straight girls. It may be a bit rough for a male to back down, but if they’re secure enough, they’ll let the woman take charge.

#2.) Being completely oblivious to your partners wants and needs. The female body is not the same as a male (you’d think this would be obvious-I thought so too) but we can’t just walk into a room and have you stick your dick in us! We need to get turned on.

#3.) Personally, I strongly dislike when a guy wants to be all of over me the second I walk into a room. It is unattractive, and border line annoying. I like a guy that holds off, observes my mood, and lets me do the initiating. I am not shy.

#4.) There is zero emotional connection. For me I need some sort of an emotional connection. It makes sex seem less calculated, and more animalistic.

#5.) They watch WAYYYYY too much porn! I do not have any problem with a guy watching porn. I do have a problem with them thinking its real, because its not. It’s fake. If you think I am going to scream like a school girl getting fucked the second you enter me you have another thing coming.

 

 

I Find Don Draper So Relatable.

I love Don Draper. He is sexy. He is witty. He is completely fucked up.

Don Draper is a marketing genius, and the type of man every man secretly wishes they could be. On the surface, he wreaks of perfection, but beneath the perfectly tailored suit and shadow of smug is a man who is painfully miserable.

First of all, Don doesn’t think love exists, and I agree. I don’t think people fall in love, I think they think they are in love.

Don consistently cheats on his wife, and I do not think it was just about sex. I think Don never found his equal, and throughout the series each woman was a clear representation of what he was missing in his life. Betty Draper was a cold-hearted bitch who lacked emotions. This is quite ironic, because a substantial amount of Don’s job was making people “feel” through advertising.

Midge Daniels was edgy and exciting. She smoked weed, had casual sex and made her own money. You think Betty would have touched Mary Jane? Maybe if it would have prevented wrinkles.

Candace, the prostitute. She slaps Don and for a split second he knows what it is like to feel dominated. Don always has to be the boss and tell everyone what to do. At least he wasn’t married at that time.

I can relate to Don Draper, because like him, I do not think I am capable of finding a guy who has everything I desire. I think all men are large puzzles, and the finishing piece is always missing.

 

screen-shot-2017-01-02-at-6-31-22-pm