Last week, I stumbled across this book entitled “Men Don’t Love Women Like You”. I have no idea how I came across it, as I Google tons of shit all the fucking time, but needless to say I am glad I did. I can’t put it down! Everything this guy says is completely relatable, and there are so many things I do wrong in terms of dating.
For starters, he goes into major detail about how NOT to become a placeholder. A placeholder is a girl a guy is dating, but deep down he will never be truly committed or emotionally devoted to her. He said a guy will make you his girlfriend even if you’re just a placeholder, some men have even fucking MARRIED placeholders! WTF. He goes into great detail about signs you’re just a placeholder, and how to avoid becoming one. (I dont feel like writing them too long)
Here is the part that truly captivated me…ok so, I’m a NARC, and like most NARCS I think I am special. Like a unicorn, like no guy in the history of mankind has ever met someone like me..well turns out in the world of dating I’m a PIGEON LOL. He explains how if you start dating a guy….chances are he has dated someone similar to you..women tend to tell men too much in the beginning, we let our guard down if we feel too comfortable too fast…and that gives the guy power. So, all he has to do is go ok Jaclyn is an Alpha like Tina was, but she is also a dipstick like Melanie was and BOOM he figures out how to play me, if I reveal too many details too quickly.
Here is ANOTHER kicker! I’m a Millennial, and men of my generation are royal fucks. I hate most of them. So, I usually date Gen X, because I like my men a little bit older (35-38 range). These guys know how to DATE you. They’re usually not the Netflix and Chill type unless they’re broke losers. When a guy takes you on multiple dates and does not try to fuck you usually assume he likes you for more than just sex. WRONG. If you sleep with him after six dates, and he loses interest right after the sex, or his behavior changes…it was about sex all along, he just had a more gentlemen approach about going about it. But he still just wanted to get that D in your V 🙂
Kicker #2. I dated one broke loser last year, and after him I will never ever date a guy who is not financially stable. Ever. Financial stability is #1 on my check list. The author sides with me. The author hates dating apps, because he knows you only attract the loser Netflix & Chill types. He is all about a girl going on dates, and guess who should pay? The man. The broke loser I dated never took me out, and was totally clueless about how to be a real man. Part of the reason as to why I dumped him was because he was broke. The others were he was stupid, insecure, and jealous. I am at the point in my life where I dont have time for broke. I have a lot of choices when it comes to dating; I will never settle for a broke loser.
I am learning about ALL the things I do WRONG! Like this last dude, I opened up to him too fast, I liked him, got emotionally attached, and allowed him to fuck with me. I was in la la land, and he did not feel the same way, I was a placeholder, and because I really liked him..I ignored the red flags. Because he made me feel good. After reading this book, I will never be a placeholder again. FUCK THAT NOISE.
I have a whole new way of looking at dating, and the way I approach it. I also learned that I can be a really shitty partner LMAO. Like I am a total bully sometimes, and a huge brat. I try and boss men around to get them to do what I want, and for years I got away with it, or thought I did. Its probably one of the reasons as to why I get dumped a lot. I am also not as good with communication as I thought I was ooopssss! You can’t assume everything, or Google the answers to shit (thats what I do because I have trust issues) you have to ask the person you are dating straight up. With this last guy we shall call him LB. I should have asked LB if he wanted a relationship with me, or saw one in the near future…but I didn’t. I assumed he did not want one because of his behavior. I felt like I was getting dicked around, but I never came out and asked him the question. After reading this book, even if he entered a relationship with me it would have been a complete waste of my time because I was just a placeholder. He even told me I wasn’t his type. I could have wasted months of my life on this guy because he made me “feel” good. I am so glad I came across this book, I will never make the dipshit mistakes I have made in the past….those days are overrrrrrrrr.
I have a new date coming up soon, and will approach it a whole new way 🙂
The book is $10 on iTunes…buy it 🙂