She Has Everything & You Hate Her For It.

She has everything. She’s pretty, she’s articulate, she drives a fancy convertible, she’s had every career imaginable, and she managed to fuck a dick-less boyfriend for over five decades. She’s fantastic and she is made of plastic.

She’s a wholesome sex icon. She is one gigantic joke.

I do a whole Barbie bit in my stand up act. It begins with “my parents always bought me career Barbies..they never seemed to get me the one I really wanted..serial killer Barbie. She was too expensive the bodies were sold separately..”

(Photo Credit: Mariel Clayton)

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I truly believe that Barbie was created by a devote Christian because she’s had the same boyfriend for 50 years, and her knees don’t bend.

I think Mattel created a society that mocks society and it all began with monogamy.  I don’t believe Barbie’s “unrealistic” figure should be frowned upon. I think the idea that she’s smokin hot, insanely driven, seems to have it all and only had one boyfriend along the ride is the problem. We are a society obsessed with monogamy and I think this an enormous issue. I don’t care about getting married, or being with the same guy for five decades. It just doesn’t seem fun or realistic.

Barbie and her plastic friends are a representation of what Capitalism and religion have imbedded into our minds. Barbie doesn’t have just any car..she has a pink convertible car, so when she is driving everyone will stare, and probably snapchat it at a stop light. She has a huge mansion in Malibu, a gigantic swimming pool, a Kim Kardashian lifestyle and she never had to get fucked on camera to get it.

I will be performing at Club Privacy at 9pm on October 20th & The Clown House on October 22nd at 8pm in Downtown LA!

I had a great performance at the Ice House in Pasadena this past Sunday… I am trying to get the video so I can post! If not, I will try and film Thursday, or Saturday!

 

xoxoxoxoxox- Dont forget to follow me on instagram! @JaclynPassaro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Pop Music is Like a Granola Bar

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Alrighty, this post was inspired by a blog article that popped up on my Facebook newsfeed about Meghan Trainor.

Meghan Trainor has gained a substancial amount of fame, due to her hit song, “All About That Bass”, which embraces her curvaceous figure. Some feminists hate the song, because some of the lyrics include phrases such as, “she says boys like a little more booty to hold at night”, and stating looking a certain way, because boys approve is deemed “anti-feminist”, but whatever some people bitch for the purpose of bitching. I see nothing wrong with the song, because it’s a fucking pop song, and the whole purpose of pop music is to be light hearted, fun and catchy. Trainer is 20, and she probably wrote this song when she was like 18 or 19; this isn’t an experienced 40 year old WOMAN we are talking about, she’s VERY young. I think people need to get off her case, because the girl is talented, adorable and probably did not think her lyrics would offend so many people. These days you cant look at someone without them getting offended.

Which leads me to my next point, pop music is just like a granola bar. It’s a quick fix, its easy to digest, but it doesn’t last very long. It is not good, or bad for you, and it doesn’t really have any value.

Have you ever read any pop lyrics?

Here’s the chorus to Taylor Swift’s new song:

You got that James Dean day dream look in your eye
And I got that red lip classic thing that you like
And when we go crashing down, we come back every time.
Cause we never go out of style
We never go out of style

Music snobs know Swift isn’t a great artist, but guess what? She doesn’t have to be she’s a pop star, she writes catchy lyrics that are aimed at tweens, and teens, and they’re not sitting there analyzing the fucking lyrics. She’s sold millions of records, the girl is doing something right.

Here are some from Katy Perry’s song Roar

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion

They’re pretty fucking ridiculous, but Perry’s job isn’t to write lyrics like John Lennon, because she’s a pop star, she just needs to wear cute costumes, be bubbly, and write lyrics that are simple, and easy to remember. The primary demographic that listens to her spends their days taking selfies and recording themselves doing the Kylie Jenner challenge, they don’t need anything too deep, trust me.

In the end, I fucking hate it when bloggers, feminists, and other people take pop lyrics too seriously. Thoughts?

Are They Really THAT Talented?

Everybody seems to adore Queen B, and by the queen I mean Beyonce aka Sasha Fierce! She is beautiful, a wonderful performer, and has sold millions of records. Not to mention she me makes up half of one of the “it” power couples in Tinseltown, but is she really that talented? She does not write her own lyrics; she does not play any instruments, and her acting ability is okay. I am not implying she lacks talent, but what I am stating is….she really that talented? 

Britney Spears has been famous since I was 10!!!!!! She has sold out tours, been the primary subject for media outlets on a regular basis, acquired a huge fan  base that continues to support her, and sold millions of records, but is she really that talented? In my opinion, Ms. Spears is the product of excellent marketing, and pure luck, because when Ms. Baby One More Time stepped onto the music scene, there was no female competition. She paved the way for a new era of bubble gum pop female singers, and the marketing geniuses behind Jive knew that selling her as an innocent sex kitten would help cultivate a pop sensation, and it worked! She had that innocent girl next door face on a perfectly sculpted sexy body, and she could shake her ass. Back in the day, Spears could put on a performance, but her voice has always been so, so…and she also does not write her own lyrics, or play any instruments, or act well, or write, or choreograph her own dance moves, so again is she really that talented?

I love Madonna, because she is a tough bitch who knew exactly what she wanted, and went out and achieved it, but again..is she really that talented? Her voice is okay..have you listened to any of her performances from her Blonde Ambition tour? I think Madonna is a trendsetter, and knew how to use controversy and sex to keep herself relevant. She also has a great “image” which I am sure was created by her record label, and producers. Her image is constantly being redone, and this is a great move, because it maintains the brand and fame. Madonna could never let go of her fame; it is like her child.

What do you think…are they really that talented? Comments are always appreciated 🙂 & tell me an artist you think is DEFINITELY talented!

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Unapologetic Snark!

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So, I am thinking about launching my own podcast! It would be “Unapologetic Snark”; it would get uploaded every Tuesday, and it would focus on a lot of bullshit like pop culture, people you hate, annoying people at the grocery store, and I don’t know what else! Would you listen?

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