Shitty People You Probably Worked with.

I have worked countless jobs, and disliked many of them because of the idiots I was forced to pretend to like. Office jobs are the absolute WORST for someone with my personality type. I am a creative space caddet so after a while being in the same environment, sitting at the same fucking desk, doing the same fucking tasks and working with the same people makes me feel suicidal. So, I have comprised a list of shitty people you probably work with or will have the honor of working with.

#1.) The bimbo who does absolutely nothing, but gets ahead because she fucked the right guy. The brutal truth is many people climb up the ladder in their company who are totally unqualified, and have the mind of a rocking chair,because they rode the right dick.

#2.) The moron who is pointless, does not do their job well, but continues to get chance after chance before finally getting fired. I once worked with a moron who told us a story about how some guy put the date rape drug in her drink but she was super stoked he chose her because she was fat. I threw a dart at her head at an office party and her head popped.

#3.) The person who takes their job wayyyyyy too seriously! I once worked with an over competitive chick at a popular sunglass store who was so competitive about selling $200 worth of plastic. I’m sorry but the commission was super low…so I personally gave zero fucks.

#4.) The manager that will forever be a manager at some shitty retail job because they never had the nerve to chase after their dreams, or they had a kid at 20 and got married at 21 and thought their career options were limited. This manager will try and discourage you from chasing your dreams. Don’t listen to them they will always make a few bucks over minimum wage selling t-shirts that were made in China.

#5.) The stoner that sits at their desk and calls you a diva when you message them multiple times to fix your computer!

#6.) The grown up mean girls who talk shit about the people they will never be as good as.

 

 

#No Hard Feelings

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We discuss shit like Pokemongo, sex with celebrities, sex, the comedy scene, and Robbie’s random visits to the grocery store at 2am.

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Ladies & Gents,

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8 Things I Hate

#1. When people take too fucking long in the self check out.

#2. When you have park a mile away because there is no street parking.

#3. When people bitch for no reason like I am doing now.

#4. When people call you to tell you something that could have easily been texted or messaged on Facebook.

#5. When guys try and insult their way into your pants…it doesnt work dumb fucks.

#6. The fact that my generation removed romance out of sex and made it all about fucking to stop them from having emotions.

#7.Guys that think cute girls have it easier than them.

#8. When companies blow up my email with 20 billion ads a day.

Leave me some of your complaints below!

 

 

 

Red Sweat Shirt Dumbass

I always have crazy titles, because they make my blog posts appear interesting. I guess you can call it “false” advertising, but whatever, today’s post is about a guy in a red sweat shirt.

I am very much attracted to funny men, because they are usually ballsy, know how to have a good time, and I find it easy to open up to them. I am one of those people that has issues with allowing people to get to know me on an emotional level, because it makes me feel powerless. I have some issues…but don’t we all? Anyways, lets call this idiot RSSD. RSSD seemed really cool, but unfortunately, he made the six year old selling lemonade on the street corner appear mature. We only hung out twice, and it was clearly just that, there was nothing romantic behind our hang outs, we just shared one similar interest, and I am not going to say what it is. The second time we hung out he had the nerve to sit there and stick earphones in his ears, who does that???? I should have just walked out, but I didn’t, I stayed, and I am going to turn a negative experience with a dipshit into comedic inspiration..:)

RSSD is a brat, and at one point so was I. Let me explain, I grew up spoiled, and my parents always catered to me, and gave me more than enough, but eventually I grew out of that spoiled brat obnoxious give me my way or the highway mentality. Rotten people are drawn to those types, and who the hell wants to attract that? RSSD wants what he wants when he wants it and when he doesn’t get his way he acts out like a little boy. Like I did as a child when I threw a temper tantrum because  my parents wouldn’t get my a toy I wanted.

RSSD only wanted to hang out with me, because his dick wanted to chill inside of my vagina. I was definitely attracted to him, but wasn’t ready for that yet, and thats when his true colors started to show. That’s when he acted like a child, was in a pissy ass mood, and stuck those ear phones in his ears. My advice to RSSD is if you only want sex be straight forward about it, because you will attract another girl that just wants sex, and then you don’t have to act like a little boy, because you will get your way. My second piece of advice is you’re not 19 anymore, you are a grown man, and should know better by now. You should know that you need to RESPECT women, because clearly you don’t.

Happy Hump Day

XXXOXXXO

Bitter Bitches

Everyone gets angry, or annoyed, and occasionally, we are guilty of saying something negative about someone else. We are all human, therefore, we are flawed creatures who say stupid shit from time to time, because it was imbedded into our DNA. There are some females who are just plain bitter, and this is why I have dubbed them bitter bitches. Some females are angry, and mean, and talk a lot of shit for no apparent reason other than they are insecure, and bitter :/. How do you know if you’re a bitter bitch?

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1. You’re always putting other females down. You put down their hair, body, face, whatever, because you’re bitter that female has something you don’t.

2. You find the negative in every situation.

3. You’re never happy, or satisfied.

4. You’re jealous towards your own friends.

5. Guys run from you, because they know you’re crazy.

6. You complain about everything.

7. Your rain on others parades.

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