Oh…go Fuck yourself.

-Shit that irks me in comedy.

-I think people are overly sensitive, like seriously, I was raised by two New Yorker’s..I don’t give a fuck about your feelings. I just want you to listen and understand my point my view. You don’t have to necessarily agree with me, but hear me out. I’m a clever asshole.

-I think some people fear a female asshole. Like they want a woman to go on stage and just self depreicate  or be overly sexual. I love dirty jokes, but I like to be filthy in a squeaky clean way. I like mind fucking people. It’s fun. It’s a drug. It’s power.

-I can come across as self-entitled, but I’m not. I am just an asshole. I’m a special kind of an asshole though, I like to blast the music in my car so I don’t have to hear any sirens.

-I am fairly clean on stage with the exception of utilizing the words fuck and twat. Why? because I feel like it. That’s me BUT BUT I love a good dirty comic, just be dirty with a point not for shock value.

-When people tell me I will get ahead because I’m a woman. Yeah, whatever bro. I will get ahead because I am fucking talented and hard working.girlnextdoor

New Photo on my Facebook: By Kevin Mcyntire

Have you listened to my podcast yet? Please do so. It’s free.













My Generation Needs To Pipe The F*** Down.

I am a Millennial. I am a part of the first generation that was significantly influenced by computers. I am a part of a generation that did not have to rely on paper maps to help them get to new places, I am a part of a generation that used words like crunk, and dude throughout high school, and I am a part of a generation that has been greatly affected by social media. I am also a part of a generation that consists of too many lazy assholes that blame others for their lack of success. Sorry kids, we have it made. Don’t know something? Fucking google it. Our parents did not have that luxury, and they got by. My generation got through college by utilizing the internet, and because of this I believe many millennials don’t know how to fucking brainstorm, and figure out shit by using their brains. 

The main advantage previous generations had that mine lacks is job security, and a good economy. We did get fucked in that department, but that does not justify being lazy and not trying to succeed. The economy will always fluctuate and so will your bank account, but that does not mean quit trying.

Millennials Are a Bunch of Self Loathing Narcissists

Alright. I get it. My generation is sort of obsessed with themselves, because well we are the MTV generation, the social media effected, self loathing narcissistic, ungrateful brats that have no interest in working, yet we want to be rich and famous. We have let all of this nonsense that has been shoved down our throats go to our heads. AH! Naw bitches, naw. We need to forget about the lame shit that previous generations say about us, because the millennial generation is one that did not grow up thinking women should be pregnant baking pies in the kitchen, and the majority of us do not have negative opinions about gay marriage, plus we grew up working on computers, and that is not a bad thing. They took over the world. More and more millennials are finding success building their own businesses, for example, Facebook one of the largest social media sites was founded by Mark Zuckberg, and his peers who happen to be MILLENNIALS! Instagram was also founded by two millennials, so before you go and knock us remember we are not all lazy, selfie posting assholes. 

I live in a world where reality tv makes people super famous for no apparent reason other than they do not mind looking like fools on tv, and I really do not care. If some producer offered me a nice chunk of change, to act like an idiot on TV I would ask them for a pen so I could sign the contract. I am sure most people would do the same. This is my world, this is our world, the millennial world. What are your thoughts?