NEW Stand Up Clip!

New Stand Up Clip Performance from The Tempe Improv in Tempe Arizona

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What College Taught Me.

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I graduated from college earning a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Film/Media Studies. Some people may see this degree as rather pointless, because it is a rough field to break into, and you can’t really get to the top of the entertainment, or media field without knowing someone who can get you there. It really is all about networking and who you know. College did not teach me anything about education. College taught me life lessons, and helped me figure out how to be an “adult” at an early age. So, for those of you that may think college is bogus, or an arts degree is pointless, let me give you a bit of an insight on what college taught me.

#1.) I am responsible for my own mistakes. I cannot point the finger at someone else; it makes ME look foolish. Nobody forced me to go to class. I was paying to be there. They get their cash whether or not my ass was in that seat.

#2.) It introduced me to kids with different backgrounds. Kids who grew up in different countries, different socioeconomic backgrounds, kids who were second generation American, and so forth.

#3.) Being book smart is great. I mean being book smart will help you earn straight A’s, but being book smart will not make you extraordinary. Remembering what someone else wrote, and having the ability to pencil in the right bubble isn’t that mind boggling.

#4.) College taught me to question society. It taught me to analyze what the media tries to sell, and really helped me not buy into it.

#5.) It helped me find the flaws in Disney movies.

#6.) It taught me how to fail.

#7.) It taught me how to work well with men.

#8.) It taught me how to get along with people I really could not stand. Part of life is learning how to effectively work with people who you dislike.

#9.) It taught me that I hate weed, I suck at beer pong, and I am really better off dating guys that are at least 8 years older than myself.

xoxoxox-Jaclyn

Please follow me on Instagram & Twitter.

@JaclynPassaro

Snarky Sunday.

Snarky Thoughts to begin a new snarky week.

#1.) I have a show tonight, its a shitty, rainy fucking day in Los Angeles, but I am performing at Hanglider Bar-7pm, 1044 S. Fairfax Avenue, parking can be tricky get there early. Come out & give me a hug. I am sweet, and cuddly.

#2.) Seriously guys, you have to check out Snark Attack, Wed Jan 25th- 7pm Los Angeles time! I am hosting! http://www.dromebox.com

#3.) Enough with that promotional bullshit.

#4.) I hate working with anyone who always claims to be busy, but really doesn’t do jack shit. If you’re really busy, you’re getting shit done, and if you’re getting shit done everyone can SEE it. So, you do not need to tell them. Actions speak louder than words.

#5.) You tubers who morphed into yacking advertisements. Buy this, buy that, bitch what ever happened to you telling me how to correctly conceal the bags under my eyes?

#6.) When Spotify says 30 minutes of straight music, then I switch channels and they give me another Ad, wtf, motherfucker you just told me you were going to give me 30 minutes of straight music?

#7. I don’t care about LaLa Land.

Seriously be nice & follow me on Twitter & Instagram @JaclynPassaro

 

Oh…go Fuck yourself.

-Shit that irks me in comedy.

-I think people are overly sensitive, like seriously, I was raised by two New Yorker’s..I don’t give a fuck about your feelings. I just want you to listen and understand my point my view. You don’t have to necessarily agree with me, but hear me out. I’m a clever asshole.

-I think some people fear a female asshole. Like they want a woman to go on stage and just self depreicate  or be overly sexual. I love dirty jokes, but I like to be filthy in a squeaky clean way. I like mind fucking people. It’s fun. It’s a drug. It’s power.

-I can come across as self-entitled, but I’m not. I am just an asshole. I’m a special kind of an asshole though, I like to blast the music in my car so I don’t have to hear any sirens.

-I am fairly clean on stage with the exception of utilizing the words fuck and twat. Why? because I feel like it. That’s me BUT BUT I love a good dirty comic, just be dirty with a point not for shock value.

-When people tell me I will get ahead because I’m a woman. Yeah, whatever bro. I will get ahead because I am fucking talented and hard working.girlnextdoor

New Photo on my Facebook: By Kevin Mcyntire

Have you listened to my podcast yet? Please do so. It’s free.