High School Superlatives Redefined!

Remember High School? The four years of your life you cannot seem to let go of, because it was such a revolutionary time in your life. Please excuse my sarcasm, because I honestly did not hate High School. I went to two different ones, and did not mind the experience. I was ready to graduate, because I hated school and was just over it, but sometimes I wish I could go back to hear a bell ring, or experience racing to get to the door before class started, or listen to teenage girls gossip about stupid teenage topics. Sigh. Anyways, everyone probably remembers their yearbook, and voting for superlatives. Today, I want to add a bit of snark to the traditional high school superlatives, because I think the typical “Best Hair”, and “Most Likely To Succeed” are rather boring. 


I think “Most likely to lose their looks first” is a great choice, because unfortunately, a significant amount of the pretty girls and attractive guys in high school lose their looks before the age of 25. Looks come with an expiration date.

I also think “Most Unlikely Person To Succeed”, because everyone always think the ones with 4,0 gpas who are participating in every extracurricular activity will become the next Bill Gates, or President, but in reality there are plenty of “bad” kids that grow up to be more successful, because they think outside of the box. Nodding your head and listening to everyone will get you a job, but questioning stuff and thinking up different ideas will make you the boss.

“Most likely to become a pornstar”, I think this is a funny one, because I guarantee you there is some girl, or guy I went to high school with that now markets themselves with xxx next to their name. Good for them, I hope they are rolling in the dough.

“Best Comebacks” you know there was that smart ass who always put everyone in their place with a line or two, lets give them a place on that superlative page.



I Love My Mother But I Don’t Like Her

Growing up most of us are taught to believe that our parents know right from wrong, their thoughts are always in our best interest, and they know best. My mother taught me a few valuable traits like, stand up for what I believe in, do not value material possessions over love, and has always supported all my wacky ideas. College was an eye opener for me, because I learned all about liberation. My mother is not what I consider a “progressive” woman, sure she went to college, and had a job for a while, however once I was born she became a stay at home mother. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the times my mother nursed me back to health from being sick, the projects she helped me on, in which earned me high grades, and the tests she pushed me to study for. 

Here is why I do not like my mother: she is extremely spoiled, and judgmental yet likes to mask it by pretending as if she is some sort of an angel sent from God. When I was in High School, my best friend opened my eyes. For the first time, I saw how spoiled I was, how fortunate, and selfish I was. I had everything yet desired more. She on the other hand came from a family which consisted of an abusive father that struggled to financially support his children. I spent my entire senior year trying to “save” her and some of my 20’s. I helped her get a job, gave her rides, and bought her new clothing, because giving to someone else felt rewarding. My stupid ass mother made remarks like “________ is the only poor person with a chauffeur.” This is the same woman that likes to preach how “religious” she is, and what a wonderful person she is. I am not religious, I would rather stab my leg with a pencil than sit through mass, but I do believe in Jesus, and I see him as someone that helped those that others would ignore. I also see him as doing kind gestures for others, because it was the right thing to do.

Here is another reason I don’t like my mother: she makes ignorant comments like, “I am shocked no guy has tried to rape you in that outfit.” This sort of bullshit strikes a huge cord with me. Growing up I had so many female friends that were victims of rape/sexual abuse, and I saw what it did to them. How they were attracted to shitty men, how they viewed their bodies, and most of all their self worth. These sort of comments perpetuate a negative attitude towards women, I dont care if a woman is dressed like a hooker on a street corner, she is still a human being and she deserves the same amount of respect as the woman wearing a suit. It is never okay to rape a woman, or to treat one as if she is nothing more than a sex object.

The final reason I don’t like my mother: she is insecure, and has never been happy with who she is and she takes it out on me. I love myself to the point that sometimes I am in love with myself, and even boast about it. It took a long time to get to this point, I was often a target for the mean girls, was poked fun at the majority of adolescence, and was never popular. I am now thankful for it all, because being weird/unpopular is awesome. I am a natural born leader, with a strong personality and I am going to take on the world. The popular kids are now fat, married with children working mediocre jobs. I would probably overlook any of them, because they are not up to par with my standards. I do not associate myself with losers, I like weirdos, creative people, goal oriented people etc. My mother has never truly liked herself, this is why she gives good looking women dirty looks and often makes rude remarks about them. A person with self love does not have time to hate.