Signs You’re Dealing With a Total Douche!


If you have a vagina and you’re straight, or if you’re a homosexual male, you probably would like to find a boyfriend, or a nice guy to hangout with and bang. Sometimes finding a nice guy can be quite tricky, because you can easily get seduced by an asshole disguised as a nice guy. Here are some tips on how to tell the difference between a nice guy, and a complete douche bag.

1. Genuine nice guys actually care about listening to you, and they remember shit like what you like to eat, your favorite types of movies; it is pretty freaking awesome, however they are horrible to argue with, because they remember every damn thing you do, and say, because they care.

2. If he is a douche bag, and just using you for your vagina, or your dick, he will not want you on any of his social media sites, because he really has zero interest in communicating with you once he grows tired of your genitals. Sorry folks, the truth hurts.

3. He takes FOREVER to respond to your text messages, or he simply doesn’t respond at all. If he does finally text he will give you some lame ass excuse, and he is doing this just to string you along in case he gets horny. Sorry folks, the truth hurts.

4. He insults you. We all playfully tease each other, at least I do. I always tease guys I am interested in dating, because I find it amusing, and its my way of flirting. I like to test the waters to see if a guy is tough enough to handle me. I love to kid around, and I can dish it and take it, but when a guy says something malicious the douche bag radar signs go off.

5. He blows you off. He makes plans with you and than suddenly he vanishes. He either forgot, or is off with some other chick, or maybe he decided to go lift at the gym. Either way, he doesn’t care about you.

6. You met him on a free online dating site. Look I am not against online dating, and I am well aware that my generation uses the internet as a source for dating, but if you met him on Tinder, POF, or some other free dating site chances are he’s a douche, or he just wants sex. Now, some guys are straightforward and say hey I only want to bang you, or something of that nature, he is not a douche because he is being honest with you. I have known of people getting married because of an online site, but they were paid.



December Is The Month For Delusional People

Tis the season to be surrounded by delusion fa la la la la

For some reason, winter really brings out the crazy in the crazies to the point where people are actually surprised at how these lunatics are acting. It is kind of difficult to be shocking when you are a known lunatic, but these people know how to do it, because they’re professional crazies. What the fuck am I talking about? People that NEED a reality check. I know you know some.

The first person that needs a reality check is that one person who is so desperate to get into a relationship, because they’re friends are all engaged or married and they want to find that special someone that is going to give them butterflies and scratch their backs on Sunday morning. Winter is a time for couples, but don’t be so desperate to find someone because you will end up unhappy in the end. These types of people do not listen; it is pretty much impossible to get through to them. 

The diet whore. Girl Code said it best NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DIET UNLESS YOU’RE EATING EVERYTHING! Seriously though, keep your diet to yourself, and all your fitness goals as well, because these types of people TALK about fitness goals, they never actually go out and attempt to achieve them. They are delusional because they think people believe them, and see the same results as them, they see a six peck, and we see nada.

Last but not least the person that likes to exaggerate their family stories to the point of, yeah that only occurred in your imagination. We all spice up a story, but we don’t make it impossible to eat.

I have some more people that need a reality check right here:

Tweet me @jaclynashley79

Apple Cider Vinegar Review

So, I decided to try this apple cider vinegar cleanse, because of one of my favorite beauty gurus (Makeup by Mel). Surprisingly,it is incredibly delicious and calorie free! I love to add sugar to my tea to make it flavorful, but the lemon juice and apple cider vinegar make the tea refreshing and amazing. I am going to drink it in the morning before work and in the evening after I go to the gym, and will post a review about it! TRY IT people, it is good! Here is the recipe: 


“REAL” Women Do Not Sell

I know I am going to get a significant amount of slack for this post, because my opinion can be deemed “offensive”, anti-feminist, and down right cold, but I honestly do not give a fuck..I am unapologetic about my unconventional views. So…are you ready?

 I frequently see videos of people trying to explain how models, and women that meet societies standards of beauty are enhanced by photoshop . WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! No duh??? Really??? So, 50 year old actresses really do have wrinkles, and gorgeous super models have acne scars..and Kim Kardashian has cellulite? I am SHOCKED. No really people, I am sure that if you were famous and had millions of people staring at your images, you would not mind a little bit of enhancement here and there. 

I also see people trying to convince advertisers to use “real” women, because “real” women that we see in our everyday lives do not look like the females in ads. Well guess what? When it comes to marketing, “real” is often correlated with “average”, and would you want your product associated with something “average”, if you are smart you would have answered NO! The term average is a big fat gigantic NEGATIVE in marketing. Why? Because you want your product to appear “superior” to others. Plus, if you use average looking everyday women your product will be connected with that, and unfortunately you may see a decrease in revenue. 

The people that are the prime victims of advertisers messages  are young girls, and this is heartbreaking. They are sold the idea that they are nothing more than a toned body, and doll smile. Society as a whole cannot just blame advertisements for teen girls negative body image issues. I said it before and I will say it again, if parents did their damn job, their children would not experience so many problems! The fact that I do not look like a super model does not make me think any less of myself period. I will never be a size 0; oh fucking well. When I was growing up I was complimented more on my intelligence and talents rather than my appearance. Perhaps other parents should do the same. Focus on your daughters talents, intelligence, teach them how to independent, strong and show them that these qualities are far more important than being “pretty”. 

With that being said all you “average” women that complain about not looking like a super model or not have a “skinny” body I do not feel sorry for you, maybe you should focus on your character, or go to the gym a few times a week and quit going to the McDonalds drive through every day.