I’m kinda like cocaine

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 6.41.41 AM(Telegraph.UK)

I have always had falling outs with my friends..like since elementary school. It might be because I tend to have shitty taste in friends, or because I am constantly changing and if the people around me aren’t I replace them. This usually occurs with female friends. I form emotional bonds better with men. I also feel more comfortable around them.

Anyways, about three months ago I had a falling out with a close friend; we were close for a few years but eventually I grew tired of listening to her bullshit. I helped this girl find jobs, listened to her issues and didn’t get mad when she fucking blew up my phone on a regular basis about stupid shit. Whenever I needed someone to talk to she would respond by saying stuff like “drink tea, or I don’t want to hear anything negative today”. I just got sick of her. She is also one of those people that makes the same mistake all the time then cries about it. Eventually, I told her off. Occasionally she will send me messages on Facebook (even though we are not FB friends) with random thoughts and I respond with one word answers because it is my classy way of saying I don’t fucking care. In her last message she said that I said some really hurtful things but she forgave me. I found this amusing because I was never sorry. Sometimes you have to aim for the heart in order to get bad people out of your life. Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones dragging you down and causing a lot of negativity in your life. I am so much happier now that we are not in communication with one another. I don’t have to listen to annoying bullshit that could easily be prevented had she used half of her brain. I’m too sassy to deal with this.

I am like cocaine people tell me how horrible I am but they always come back for another round. It happens with guys a lot. I hold grudges though…you piss me off really badly I’ll never talk to you again.

Thoughts about shitty friends?


OMG Shitty Friends

Shitty friends suck, but what is even worse is when YOU keep them around, because believe it or not, you have the power to kick them to the curb. I recommend you do this. What makes a shitty friend?

#1. If he/she blows up your phone on a regular basis to discuss their issues all day long; I guarantee it they’re a shitty friend.

#2. They can’t agree to disagree. They will continue to argue with you over incredibly dumb topics, and most of the time they don’t even have valid information to support their opinions. For the record, an opinion is an opinion if it were a fact it would be called a fact.

#3. They don’t support you. Enough said.

#4. They’re jealous of you. You find a good guy, and they’ll find everything wrong with him, because they’re lonely and single, and will be for the rest of their lives.

#5.They critique most of the stuff you do even when you don’t ask.

#6. When its your turn to vent, they respond with shit like “I’m being positive today”.

woman-tearing-hair-out                                                              (hercampus.com)

The Truth About Friendship

We all have friends, or so you think they are your friends. Friends are people you typically share common interests with, and often have similar senses of humor which often leads to tons of laughter, and wonderful memories. We all want friends, because humans are social beings. Some of us are more social than others, and may have more “friends” in their contact list, due to the fact that they are more outgoing, or are working in an industry that forces them to be extra social. We have all experienced “bad” friends, and at one point in my life, I was a terrible friend, because I was inconsiderate, immature, and selfish. I have said this before, I am made out of flaws, but now that I have grown up, I have become a much better friend, not perfect, but I genuinely care about my friends, and want to see them succeed, and have a life full of joy! Sometimes I can be super bad as to who I associate myself with, and have had many, many fake friends! People that totally stabbed me in the back after I did nothing but nice things for them! One person in particular said some really snaky stuff about me behind my back, and I was totally shocked…like WTF, are we still in middle school? 

In middle school, I had some terrible friends. It was really my first taste of putting up with mean girls, and it sucked. I was super shy growing up, which often made me an enormous target for bullies. I was also an ugly ducking. I had braces, mousy hair, I was pretty thin and my nose was huge! I definitely had some horrible self esteem issues. As I grew up, I gained confidence, a big mouth, and the ability to make people laugh. I don’t care about what people think of me, because I think highly of myself, and thats all that matters. I still get bullied from time to time, but now I realize it’s pure jealousy, and I see it as a compliment..like I have something you don’t so you’re being a dick to me, screw you! 

Since I am a pro at dealing with shitty friends..I decided to inform you all of some radar signs that someone isn’t your friend!

1. They like to compete with you. You say something like “I got a B on my chemistry exam, and they respond with I got an A+ in Physics”

2. They belittle you, and say stuff like “I’m smarter than you” in order to build themselves up.

3.They appear to be doing something nice for you, but they have an ulterior motive. For example, they take you out to eat for your birthday, but then use it as an excuse to get you to pay for the bill the next time you go out.

4. They are in your life, simply to use you. They want you to help them land a new job, or maybe you have some sort of a connection they’re after.

5. They talk shit about you behind your back. It is soooooooooo childish, but hey it happens.

6. They snitch on you to get you into trouble. Again, childish, but it happens.

7. They’re always in your business. Some people do not know when to buzz off.

Don’t Bullshit.

We all have egos. They may not be as gigantic as Kanye West, or Kim Kardashian, but they exist. We have this natural desire to succeed, and look a certain way to our peers, because to some degree we are victims of our own vanity. We want to be loved and accepted, because humans are social beings, but some of us go too far in order to achieve validation, and look better than others. Some us do something call bullshit. Many bullshitters are not bad people, they are simply insecure. Normally, I can sense when someone is bullshitting me, and for the most part I play the dumb card, and act like I believe them, because I find a lot of bullshitters to be entertaining. I think it is super funny when someone bullshits me, because they want to look better than me, and use it as an attempt to bring me down. Here are some reasons you should not live your life bullshitting people! 🙂

  1. The truth ALWAYS comes out. You can only lie for so long before the bullshit hits the fan, and when it does it smells HORRIBLE.
  2. People are not as dumb as you think they are. They could be fucking with you like me.
  3. You will attract fake people. You attract what you put out into the world.
  4. You will lose good people in your life, because they will get tired of dealing with you.
  5. Eventually you will have no social life, because who the fuck wants to hang out with someone that wants to out do you, or puts you down to bring themselves up, or lies about things like how much money they’re making, how much they have, or what they are doing with their lives.

Give me a time when someone bullshitted you and it got right back in their face!


Why Do Some Women Remain Teenagers?

Good Morning, or Good Afternoon  to whoever the fuck is reading this 🙂 Today, like every other Sunday is Snarky Sunday :), I will be posting a video shortly, but it is NOT what I wanted, because last week I ordered a green screen, and it STILL HAS NOT FUCKING CAME YET! I am extremely pissed off, and hope to get it by Tuesday (I sent them a nice, little, snide email) The reason why I am mad is because I was told it was shipped out on Tuesday, but when I checked the ups tracking number it said it had not been shipped yet ugh! 

Anyways, I know you do not want to read my whiny, babbling, but today I would like to discuss “competitive friends”. I am sure you have them, or had them at one point, because we all experience this especially us females. Other women that want to compete with us over the dumbest shit, or just enjoy taking digs at us for our their own amusement, fucking obnoxious! I seriously hate it when people want to elaborate on how much better they are at me at doing something, as if I fucking care! It is super childish, and rather annoying. Why do some women remain teenagers? Why don’t some women grow the fuck up? Not everything is a competition, and REAL friends pat you on the back when you succeed they don’t try to turn your victory into their success. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people in this world that are only out for themselves, and really do not care about your feelings, which is probably a huge reason as to why I am a snarky asshole. 

I CAN be competitive, but in a humorous way, everything I do in life I try to do it with humor. I am a damn clown, and usually the comic relief in all situations, and I love making people laugh. I hate it when people challenge my humor, it really pisses me off, because I am pretty damn good at making people laugh, and really want to learn more about writing comedy! Even assholes love a good laugh. 

If you are an adult woman that likes to make competition out of dumb stuff then you need to wake up sunshine, and grow the fuck up 🙂

tweet me @jaclynashley79 instagram me: @jaclynashley79 


1. They overpower every conversation, and have nothing interesting to say. Please do not chew my ear off if your primary purpose for talking is to listen to your own voice.

2. They criticize others for doing the same thing they did an hour ago aka hypocrites. 

3. They brag about all of the things they are going to do, but never do anything to get the ball rolling. Nobody cares about your imaginary success.

4. They are chronic complainers, but their lives really are not all that bad, in fact their biggest problem is they are not in a relationship. Oh big fucking deal, there are people in this world that do not know where their next meal will come from, and your bitching about being single. 

5. They constantly make negative remarks about their weight, and refuse to trade it the whopper for a hearty salad, and exercise just isnt in their vocabulary.

6. They offer you advice you didnt ask for. Some people love to give others advice, even when nobody wants it, but somehow they cannot read the damn memo.  If I want your advice I will ask for it trust me.

7. They use big words in order to make themselves appear more intelligent, all this does is scream I am insecure and I need my intelligence validated. 

8. They brag about how sexually adventurous they are, but they have all the warning signs of a pillow princess. Bitch who do you think your fooling?

xoxoxoxoxox TSB


The Good Bitch Versus The Bad Bitch…OH SNAP!

Did she just say BITCH? Mhm. YES, I definitely  DID!

I believe there are two types of human bitches in this world…the good bitch and the bad bitch! Let me explain, a good bitch is often seen as aggressive, tough and maybe a little bit blunt. People often mistake her honesty for rudeness. For example, lets say she informed one of her employees that their latest project did not turn out well. She tells them she did not like it, maybe even tells them awful it turned out, and how it is not up to par with the company’s standards. The employee may get pissed off and think “this woman is a fucking bitch”. She is NOT trying to make you feel bad, or crush you. She is trying to improve your work. We all get critiqued, and when someone lets us know we did something bad, it is okay. We all need to improve. She will also let you know when you do not look good in an outfit, and this is a positive thing, do you really want to go out in public looking like a moron?

The bad bitch is a woman that loves to tear you down for the sake of their own entertainment. Normally these kinds of women are unhappy with their own lives and their own enjoyment is picking you apart. You either ignore them, or say a witty comment to them when they lash out at you. It will shock them. They will act incredibly nice to your face, but talk mad shit about you behind your back. They also use people to try to get ahead; so basically in a nutshell they’re shady.

Happy Saturday…<3 TSB