& so it goes.

I was an ugly ducking.

Like thin, mousy brown hair, braces, wacky eye brows, and I got picked on a lot as a kid. I was also incredibly shy, and unfortunately, when you’re shy…you are often the target of weak people belittling you.

In high school, I was a chunky monkey, and hated my body. I was so insecure, because I thought everyone around me looked like they popped off some show on the CW, and I looked like I popped off a Windex commercial.

Eventually, we moved and I switched high schools, and met some new friends. One in particular, really shaped who I am today. She taught me to be resilient, and she taught me to love myself. She always made me laugh, and turned my frown upside down. She made the end of my high school years a glorious experience. She gave zero fucks. I was TERRIFIED to tell a guy I liked him in high school. She didn’t give a flying FUCK! If she liked someone she said it end of story…I remember one time she was assigned to a project with this one kid in English, and she blurted “oh Jake the hot one”, and I just couldn’t stop laughing. I would have never yelled out something like that..I lived in constant fear of rejection. She taught me how great I am. How smart I am. She gave me compliments and it really helped with self esteem. Eventually, I got thinner and really felt at ease with my appearance.

I have so much courage because of her; she broke me out of my shell. She helped me to give zero fucks, and you know what happens when people think you dont care? THEY STOP TAKING AIM AT YOU. Guess what happens when you are confident? PEOPLE STOP TAKING AIM AT YOU. It feels really cool. It feels like power, because it is very powerful to be yourself in a world filled with lots of haters.

With that being said…surround yourself with good friends they will help you. They will bring out the best in you, and can save you from yourself. xoxoxoxox Jaclyn

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I’m kinda like cocaine

Screen Shot 2016-02-08 at 6.41.41 AM(Telegraph.UK)

I have always had falling outs with my friends..like since elementary school. It might be because I tend to have shitty taste in friends, or because I am constantly changing and if the people around me aren’t I replace them. This usually occurs with female friends. I form emotional bonds better with men. I also feel more comfortable around them.

Anyways, about three months ago I had a falling out with a close friend; we were close for a few years but eventually I grew tired of listening to her bullshit. I helped this girl find jobs, listened to her issues and didn’t get mad when she fucking blew up my phone on a regular basis about stupid shit. Whenever I needed someone to talk to she would respond by saying stuff like “drink tea, or I don’t want to hear anything negative today”. I just got sick of her. She is also one of those people that makes the same mistake all the time then cries about it. Eventually, I told her off. Occasionally she will send me messages on Facebook (even though we are not FB friends) with random thoughts and I respond with one word answers because it is my classy way of saying I don’t fucking care. In her last message she said that I said some really hurtful things but she forgave me. I found this amusing because I was never sorry. Sometimes you have to aim for the heart in order to get bad people out of your life. Sometimes the people closest to you are the ones dragging you down and causing a lot of negativity in your life. I am so much happier now that we are not in communication with one another. I don’t have to listen to annoying bullshit that could easily be prevented had she used half of her brain. I’m too sassy to deal with this.

I am like cocaine people tell me how horrible I am but they always come back for another round. It happens with guys a lot. I hold grudges though…you piss me off really badly I’ll never talk to you again.

Thoughts about shitty friends?

OMG Shitty Friends

Shitty friends suck, but what is even worse is when YOU keep them around, because believe it or not, you have the power to kick them to the curb. I recommend you do this. What makes a shitty friend?

#1. If he/she blows up your phone on a regular basis to discuss their issues all day long; I guarantee it they’re a shitty friend.

#2. They can’t agree to disagree. They will continue to argue with you over incredibly dumb topics, and most of the time they don’t even have valid information to support their opinions. For the record, an opinion is an opinion if it were a fact it would be called a fact.

#3. They don’t support you. Enough said.

#4. They’re jealous of you. You find a good guy, and they’ll find everything wrong with him, because they’re lonely and single, and will be for the rest of their lives.

#5.They critique most of the stuff you do even when you don’t ask.

#6. When its your turn to vent, they respond with shit like “I’m being positive today”.

woman-tearing-hair-out                                                              (hercampus.com)

The Truth About Friendship

We all have friends, or so you think they are your friends. Friends are people you typically share common interests with, and often have similar senses of humor which often leads to tons of laughter, and wonderful memories. We all want friends, because humans are social beings. Some of us are more social than others, and may have more “friends” in their contact list, due to the fact that they are more outgoing, or are working in an industry that forces them to be extra social. We have all experienced “bad” friends, and at one point in my life, I was a terrible friend, because I was inconsiderate, immature, and selfish. I have said this before, I am made out of flaws, but now that I have grown up, I have become a much better friend, not perfect, but I genuinely care about my friends, and want to see them succeed, and have a life full of joy! Sometimes I can be super bad as to who I associate myself with, and have had many, many fake friends! People that totally stabbed me in the back after I did nothing but nice things for them! One person in particular said some really snaky stuff about me behind my back, and I was totally shocked…like WTF, are we still in middle school? 

In middle school, I had some terrible friends. It was really my first taste of putting up with mean girls, and it sucked. I was super shy growing up, which often made me an enormous target for bullies. I was also an ugly ducking. I had braces, mousy hair, I was pretty thin and my nose was huge! I definitely had some horrible self esteem issues. As I grew up, I gained confidence, a big mouth, and the ability to make people laugh. I don’t care about what people think of me, because I think highly of myself, and thats all that matters. I still get bullied from time to time, but now I realize it’s pure jealousy, and I see it as a compliment..like I have something you don’t so you’re being a dick to me, screw you! 

Since I am a pro at dealing with shitty friends..I decided to inform you all of some radar signs that someone isn’t your friend!

1. They like to compete with you. You say something like “I got a B on my chemistry exam, and they respond with I got an A+ in Physics”

2. They belittle you, and say stuff like “I’m smarter than you” in order to build themselves up.

3.They appear to be doing something nice for you, but they have an ulterior motive. For example, they take you out to eat for your birthday, but then use it as an excuse to get you to pay for the bill the next time you go out.

4. They are in your life, simply to use you. They want you to help them land a new job, or maybe you have some sort of a connection they’re after.

5. They talk shit about you behind your back. It is soooooooooo childish, but hey it happens.

6. They snitch on you to get you into trouble. Again, childish, but it happens.

7. They’re always in your business. Some people do not know when to buzz off.

What You Learn to NOT Put Up With in Your 20’s!!!

mean girls

 

1. Fake Friends- You probably had some in middle school and maybe a few throughout high school, because you cared about where you stood socially, but once you get into adulthood you stop caring about how many phone numbers are in your phone. You learn how important it is to have real friends who care about you and ditch the ones who are only there when they want something.

2. You Learn to Tolerate Your Enemies- Part of life is getting along with people you dislike. You will work with people you strongly dislike, deal with friends spouses you dont like, date people who have friends you dislike, but you will learn how to communicate in a diligent manner. 

3. You Learn How Quickly Looks Fade- When you are younger it is easy to think that looks are everything, and pretty people have it made, and that isnt the case. I went to high school with some girls that looked like FHM models and at 26 their beauty is long behind them. It is more important to have a personality, because that is what will get you far in life.

4. You Will Learn NOT to Put Up With Bullshit from the People you Date- You will see the radar signs quickly and can dodge the bullets before they are even shot at you!!!!

I Love My Mother But I Don’t Like Her

Growing up most of us are taught to believe that our parents know right from wrong, their thoughts are always in our best interest, and they know best. My mother taught me a few valuable traits like, stand up for what I believe in, do not value material possessions over love, and has always supported all my wacky ideas. College was an eye opener for me, because I learned all about liberation. My mother is not what I consider a “progressive” woman, sure she went to college, and had a job for a while, however once I was born she became a stay at home mother. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all the times my mother nursed me back to health from being sick, the projects she helped me on, in which earned me high grades, and the tests she pushed me to study for. 

Here is why I do not like my mother: she is extremely spoiled, and judgmental yet likes to mask it by pretending as if she is some sort of an angel sent from God. When I was in High School, my best friend opened my eyes. For the first time, I saw how spoiled I was, how fortunate, and selfish I was. I had everything yet desired more. She on the other hand came from a family which consisted of an abusive father that struggled to financially support his children. I spent my entire senior year trying to “save” her and some of my 20’s. I helped her get a job, gave her rides, and bought her new clothing, because giving to someone else felt rewarding. My stupid ass mother made remarks like “________ is the only poor person with a chauffeur.” This is the same woman that likes to preach how “religious” she is, and what a wonderful person she is. I am not religious, I would rather stab my leg with a pencil than sit through mass, but I do believe in Jesus, and I see him as someone that helped those that others would ignore. I also see him as doing kind gestures for others, because it was the right thing to do.

Here is another reason I don’t like my mother: she makes ignorant comments like, “I am shocked no guy has tried to rape you in that outfit.” This sort of bullshit strikes a huge cord with me. Growing up I had so many female friends that were victims of rape/sexual abuse, and I saw what it did to them. How they were attracted to shitty men, how they viewed their bodies, and most of all their self worth. These sort of comments perpetuate a negative attitude towards women, I dont care if a woman is dressed like a hooker on a street corner, she is still a human being and she deserves the same amount of respect as the woman wearing a suit. It is never okay to rape a woman, or to treat one as if she is nothing more than a sex object.

The final reason I don’t like my mother: she is insecure, and has never been happy with who she is and she takes it out on me. I love myself to the point that sometimes I am in love with myself, and even boast about it. It took a long time to get to this point, I was often a target for the mean girls, was poked fun at the majority of adolescence, and was never popular. I am now thankful for it all, because being weird/unpopular is awesome. I am a natural born leader, with a strong personality and I am going to take on the world. The popular kids are now fat, married with children working mediocre jobs. I would probably overlook any of them, because they are not up to par with my standards. I do not associate myself with losers, I like weirdos, creative people, goal oriented people etc. My mother has never truly liked herself, this is why she gives good looking women dirty looks and often makes rude remarks about them. A person with self love does not have time to hate.

Peace.