What Hollywood Taught Us About SEX!

8987728Good Morning, or afternoon, or evening, or whatever the hell time period it is where you are reading this. Welcome to Saturday folks. This is a very special Saturday, because I haven’t posted in a while, and I was driving, and magically thought of an idea that I thought would make a great post, and guess what that is? What Hollywood Taught Us About SEX! It is super original. I know.

READ THE DAMN LIST.

  1. Missionary is an enjoyable position. For the most part, in mainstream cinema, if there is a sex scene the two characters having sexual intercourse are more than likely doing it in missionary position, and they make it look like such a blast!
  2. Sex doesn’t come with consequences. How many times have you seen characters get an STD? or have a pregnancy scare? Hollywood does not like to address how important it is to practice safe sex, however one of my favorite films (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) did an amazing job at showing the potential consequences of having unprotected sex.
  3. Only hot people have sex. How many times have you seen conventionally attractive people having sex in movies, or on television? ALOT!!!!!!! In the real world, everyones doing it, your next door neighbor that looks like Weird Al if he got hit by a bus is getting laid.
  4. If you’re a teenage boy and you haven’t had sex yet there is something wrong with you! You better lose it before college if you want to prove you’re a man. Many teen comedies love to focus on some doofus trying to get laid before high school ends, and if any teen boys are reading this you’re not weird if you haven’t had sex yet. Most of your peers are exaggerating their sexual experiences to look cool. 

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It’s JUST A Couch!

This is a $4,000 dollar sofa holstered in Italian silk this isn’t just a couch”

We have become a society that values stuff over people, and we cannot blame one another. We are constantly told by advertisers to buy, buy, buy, consume, consume, consume, you NEED the latest Ipod and the newest BMW. You NEED that pair of perfectly fitted designer jeans-they define who you are. You are not really defined by your character but by the car you drive and the label on your shirt, if you have the best it shows others you are better than them. It exudes a sense of entitlement and achievement, because not everyone can have those things. Anette Benning plays a crazy ass wife that lose sight of who she was and became a monster chasing after the next best thing. Kevin Spacey’s character also goes insane trying to relive his youth.

American Beauty is an excellent film, because it incorporated many three dimensional characters. Angela is the attractive cheerleader Kevin Spacey’s character begins fantasizing about- she is beautiful, exotic with a perfect body. She is also narcissistic, but just as insecure as Thora Birch’s character. She lies about sleeping with a bunch of men she never slept with and believes she is defined by her beauty not her character. Kevin Spacey hates what his life has become, because of materialism therefore he desires to be a teenager again. Back then he did not have any issues and life was a picnic. He quits his high paying job so he can work at a fast food restaurant, goes on a mission to win over Angela and when he is about to have sex with her pooooffff…the sex kitten he was chasing after transforms into an innocent girl when she reveals she is a virgin.

Thora Birch’s character is angry, insecure and resentful but beneath all that she has the desire to be loved and craves attention from her strange next door neighbor. The neighbor sees her as the beautiful one, not Angela and goes as far as calling Angela “ugly”, which of course pisses her of because everyone is always admiring her for her looks.

This film is still relate-able, the performances never get old and the story-line remains brilliant.