NEW Stand Up Clip!

New Stand Up Clip Performance from The Tempe Improv in Tempe Arizona

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What College Taught Me.

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I graduated from college earning a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Film/Media Studies. Some people may see this degree as rather pointless, because it is a rough field to break into, and you can’t really get to the top of the entertainment, or media field without knowing someone who can get you there. It really is all about networking and who you know. College did not teach me anything about education. College taught me life lessons, and helped me figure out how to be an “adult” at an early age. So, for those of you that may think college is bogus, or an arts degree is pointless, let me give you a bit of an insight on what college taught me.

#1.) I am responsible for my own mistakes. I cannot point the finger at someone else; it makes ME look foolish. Nobody forced me to go to class. I was paying to be there. They get their cash whether or not my ass was in that seat.

#2.) It introduced me to kids with different backgrounds. Kids who grew up in different countries, different socioeconomic backgrounds, kids who were second generation American, and so forth.

#3.) Being book smart is great. I mean being book smart will help you earn straight A’s, but being book smart will not make you extraordinary. Remembering what someone else wrote, and having the ability to pencil in the right bubble isn’t that mind boggling.

#4.) College taught me to question society. It taught me to analyze what the media tries to sell, and really helped me not buy into it.

#5.) It helped me find the flaws in Disney movies.

#6.) It taught me how to fail.

#7.) It taught me how to work well with men.

#8.) It taught me how to get along with people I really could not stand. Part of life is learning how to effectively work with people who you dislike.

#9.) It taught me that I hate weed, I suck at beer pong, and I am really better off dating guys that are at least 8 years older than myself.

xoxoxox-Jaclyn

Please follow me on Instagram & Twitter.

@JaclynPassaro

She Has Everything & You Hate Her For It.

She has everything. She’s pretty, she’s articulate, she drives a fancy convertible, she’s had every career imaginable, and she managed to fuck a dick-less boyfriend for over five decades. She’s fantastic and she is made of plastic.

She’s a wholesome sex icon. She is one gigantic joke.

I do a whole Barbie bit in my stand up act. It begins with “my parents always bought me career Barbies..they never seemed to get me the one I really wanted..serial killer Barbie. She was too expensive the bodies were sold separately..”

(Photo Credit: Mariel Clayton)

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I truly believe that Barbie was created by a devote Christian because she’s had the same boyfriend for 50 years, and her knees don’t bend.

I think Mattel created a society that mocks society and it all began with monogamy.  I don’t believe Barbie’s “unrealistic” figure should be frowned upon. I think the idea that she’s smokin hot, insanely driven, seems to have it all and only had one boyfriend along the ride is the problem. We are a society obsessed with monogamy and I think this an enormous issue. I don’t care about getting married, or being with the same guy for five decades. It just doesn’t seem fun or realistic.

Barbie and her plastic friends are a representation of what Capitalism and religion have imbedded into our minds. Barbie doesn’t have just any car..she has a pink convertible car, so when she is driving everyone will stare, and probably snapchat it at a stop light. She has a huge mansion in Malibu, a gigantic swimming pool, a Kim Kardashian lifestyle and she never had to get fucked on camera to get it.

I will be performing at Club Privacy at 9pm on October 20th & The Clown House on October 22nd at 8pm in Downtown LA!

I had a great performance at the Ice House in Pasadena this past Sunday… I am trying to get the video so I can post! If not, I will try and film Thursday, or Saturday!

 

xoxoxoxoxox- Dont forget to follow me on instagram! @JaclynPassaro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FREE Los Angeles Comedy

Hello- Los Angeles peeps & people from out of town! I run a local Los Angeles comedy show, at a really cool bar..called Club Privacy. It is quite close to Universal Studios. It is totally free, there is no drink minimum and there is free parking. This week we have Jerry Rocha headlining, he has been on Conan and Last Comic Standing. The show starts at 9:00pm. Here is a link to Jerry’s set on Conan: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scqYWrcwp_s

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