That dark ass humor tho.

So, I do mostly one liners, and mostly dark humor. I love dark humor, because I find it really amusing to see people go “oh”, or “aw”..look around the room at other people to see whether or not it is “okay” to laugh. I get off on it. HA HA. Yeah, my jokes are well written, and I look too dumb to understand that what I am saying is so awful, so yes..please laugh.

I grew up in a family that found humor in all dark subjects. My mother and her sister laughed at her Aunt’s funeral because the shoes on the body looked like Dorothy’s from the Wizard of Oz. My grandpa used to tell us crazy stories like how he was on a trolly once turned away and then looked back at the guy next to him and the guys head got cut off because he stuck it out the window & BAAAMMMMM. We cracked up about this. My grandpa told me about how his sister died at 19; she was a dancer, he loved her. The fact that bad shit happens was never ever hidden from me.  But I was taught early on to find the funny in it.

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I’m not a xerox face.

When I started college, I really wanted to be an anchorwoman. I wanted to be the next Jessica Savitch. I bought her biography, and read everything about her, I had her plastered all over my Myspace…she was so edgy, she was dark, and groundbreaking. She had a cocaine problem, her husband committed suicide, her dad died when she was young, she experienced poverty, she was super sexual, and had captivating eyes. She was broken. I thought she was relatable. I worked at my school’s radio station for a while doing news updates. I would find news stories, rewrite them to fit their standards, and say them on air. Maybe 3 people heard? The ones sitting in the office (laughs). I would always fuck up country names, and people’s last names LOL. I have an accent. I wasn’t cut out for this. I remember back in the day Facebook had this thing where you could tell people things anonymously, and one day someone wrote “I have no doubt when you get your non regional dialect down you’re going to be become one of the best known anchorwomen” I still remember, pretty cool.

The truth is I am not cut out to do the news. I actually really don’t give a fuck about the news LOLLOL. I remember this guy telling the class that oneday we would have sacrifice our morals to boost our careers, and I just can’t do shit like that. I’m really lovely underneath it all. I’m a really good person. An authentic soul. I also didn’t have passion for this. What do I have passion for?

WRITING! & getting attention LMFAO.

Writing is my first love. I liked writing as a child because I could make the world the way I wanted it to be! I could create, and possibly make people feel good. This translates well with comedy; I am a very good joke writer. I also like making people good about shit they are supposed to feel bad about it which is why I write mostly dark humor. I like being the center of attention…I have that narc personality going on and I am quite charming so it all works out.

Also, I am not a xerox face. I have distinct features, and I am kinda exotic looking, which is not news standards. Savitch, Couric, etc they all have a similar looking face, and I just do not exude that type of beauty.

xoxoxoxo- Jaclyn