Oh Gosh a Letter.

When I was a Freshman in college, I had to write a letter to myself, it contained mostly career goals, and what we wanted from our future. I wanted to be the next Jessica Savitch, and I wanted to start a charity, and save the world. I remember a friend saying “ok Angelina Jolie”. I was so sweet, so naive, and so vibrant. Oh yeah and I wanted a bunch of books published. LOL.

I cannot be the next Savitch, because I really do not have an interest in reporting the news. I cannot write a bunch of books, because I’m not that good of a writer. I’m a good blogger. I can however, write really good jokes. I can make people laugh. I can push the envelope, and get people to see the extraordinary in something that appears to be ordinary.

That’s why I love comedy. Writing is that thing I fell in love with when I was 6. It allowed me to CREATE, EXPLORE, ESCAPE. Performing gives people happiness, but it also makes them THINK. My humor is not easy; it’s clever, and difficult. Some people cant handle it, and I am okay with that. My art is allowed to push people’s buttons, and make them feel. If they cannot handle their feelings then fuck them.

xoxoxoxoxoxo

@JaclynPassaro

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I’m not a xerox face.

When I started college, I really wanted to be an anchorwoman. I wanted to be the next Jessica Savitch. I bought her biography, and read everything about her, I had her plastered all over my Myspace…she was so edgy, she was dark, and groundbreaking. She had a cocaine problem, her husband committed suicide, her dad died when she was young, she experienced poverty, she was super sexual, and had captivating eyes. She was broken. I thought she was relatable. I worked at my school’s radio station for a while doing news updates. I would find news stories, rewrite them to fit their standards, and say them on air. Maybe 3 people heard? The ones sitting in the office (laughs). I would always fuck up country names, and people’s last names LOL. I have an accent. I wasn’t cut out for this. I remember back in the day Facebook had this thing where you could tell people things anonymously, and one day someone wrote “I have no doubt when you get your non regional dialect down you’re going to be become one of the best known anchorwomen” I still remember, pretty cool.

The truth is I am not cut out to do the news. I actually really don’t give a fuck about the news LOLLOL. I remember this guy telling the class that oneday we would have sacrifice our morals to boost our careers, and I just can’t do shit like that. I’m really lovely underneath it all. I’m a really good person. An authentic soul. I also didn’t have passion for this. What do I have passion for?

WRITING! & getting attention LMFAO.

Writing is my first love. I liked writing as a child because I could make the world the way I wanted it to be! I could create, and possibly make people feel good. This translates well with comedy; I am a very good joke writer. I also like making people good about shit they are supposed to feel bad about it which is why I write mostly dark humor. I like being the center of attention…I have that narc personality going on and I am quite charming so it all works out.

Also, I am not a xerox face. I have distinct features, and I am kinda exotic looking, which is not news standards. Savitch, Couric, etc they all have a similar looking face, and I just do not exude that type of beauty.

xoxoxoxo- Jaclyn

 

College Confessions.

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(Teen.com)

#1.) I had a chance to screw my Philosophy TA, he had these really cool ice blue eyes, but I chickened out. Buck, Buck.

#2.) I had a ton of awesome sex.

#3.) I didn’t do any drugs, and really didn’t drink all that much. I was too busy getting laid.

#4.) I learned how much I hate lube.

#5.) One time I was really drunk, and I walked into the bathroom and this girl licked the side of my face like a dog, but my reflexes were too slow to do anything about it.

#6.) I used to force myself to throw up when I was drinking, because I didn’t want to gain weight. It didn’t help.

#7.) I used to load myself up on Redbull and coffee because they calmed me down. This was before I realized I had ADHD.

#8.) I hooked up with a guy who had a mirror on the side of his bed like Patrick Bateman. He was pretty hot, but a complete asshole.

#9.) I fell in love. <3.

 

What College Taught Me.

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I graduated from college earning a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Film/Media Studies. Some people may see this degree as rather pointless, because it is a rough field to break into, and you can’t really get to the top of the entertainment, or media field without knowing someone who can get you there. It really is all about networking and who you know. College did not teach me anything about education. College taught me life lessons, and helped me figure out how to be an “adult” at an early age. So, for those of you that may think college is bogus, or an arts degree is pointless, let me give you a bit of an insight on what college taught me.

#1.) I am responsible for my own mistakes. I cannot point the finger at someone else; it makes ME look foolish. Nobody forced me to go to class. I was paying to be there. They get their cash whether or not my ass was in that seat.

#2.) It introduced me to kids with different backgrounds. Kids who grew up in different countries, different socioeconomic backgrounds, kids who were second generation American, and so forth.

#3.) Being book smart is great. I mean being book smart will help you earn straight A’s, but being book smart will not make you extraordinary. Remembering what someone else wrote, and having the ability to pencil in the right bubble isn’t that mind boggling.

#4.) College taught me to question society. It taught me to analyze what the media tries to sell, and really helped me not buy into it.

#5.) It helped me find the flaws in Disney movies.

#6.) It taught me how to fail.

#7.) It taught me how to work well with men.

#8.) It taught me how to get along with people I really could not stand. Part of life is learning how to effectively work with people who you dislike.

#9.) It taught me that I hate weed, I suck at beer pong, and I am really better off dating guys that are at least 8 years older than myself.

xoxoxox-Jaclyn

Please follow me on Instagram & Twitter.

@JaclynPassaro

Ah, Yes, We Don’t Want to Hear it

“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”- J.K. Rowling

Our parents helped mold who we are. They taught us the basics about life, helped build our characters and lifted our spirits when we were down. They helped teach us right from wrong, and attempted to guide us onto a path that would hopefully lead us to some wonderful destination. That is how they are supposed to be, but some people do not get that lucky, and they are victims of horrible parenting, which does indeed fuck them up. Bad parenting can turn innocent children into adults who constantly make bad decisions causing them to feel helpless. 

My parents are utterly insane, but they are not bad, and throughout my life, both of them have been present. Sometimes their views about certain issues are backwards and old school, but nobody is perfect. I have my own mind. 

Over the years, I have witnessed the negative effects of bad parenting. It makes them date horrible people, and many suffer from low self esteem. This sucks, but I can only empathize for I cannot truly relate to them because I am not a victim of bad parenting. I can say this though, and do not see me as being insensitive or unkind, but there is a deadline for blaming your past for your present and future fuck ups. After a while, fucking up becomes a choice you choose to make. Healing is not easy, but it can be done. 

(Sorry this is a bit off track, but it has a good pt)

When I was a Freshmen in college, I was placed on academic probation because my GPA had fallen below 2.0. When I was sitting in the counselors office, my 18 year old self thought I could totally bullshit this highly educated woman who has about 15 years on me. I attempted to blame my GPA on someone else, but she said “oh no, you did this to YOU”, and this was one of those moments that got  mind videotaped and stored on the brain’s shelf. 

Part of growing up is learning how to own up to what we do wrong and not do it again. It is accepting that we are human and fuck up, but having the ability to discontinue doing what we did that caused the fuck up.

America’s Corrupt Education System

Many students would rather be playing video games, participating in extracurricular activities or watching television than going to that dreadful place known as school. Why do we think this is? Well for starters in most states it is required for students to attend school up until the age of 16, at this tender age they can make the decision to not come back. It is often shoved down their throats by educators how important our education is, how it is the key to a successful adulthood, yet many successful entrepreneurs became college drop-outs. This is something our education system likes to keep discrete, because if students begin to figure out the system is biased they may not spend thousands of dollars to receive a fancy piece of paper with their name on it. 

For one thing all Americans were not created equally, those growing up in lower income neighborhoods do not receive the same education as those growing up in more affluent homes. The turn over rate for teachers in impoverished school districts is much higher than those of more upper middle class, and wealthy. This provides the wealthier with a more stable environment, imagine those students that frequently have substitute teachers, you think they are taught as well as those that do not? What about the text books, the equipment, the buildings, wealthier neighborhoods are able to obtain higher funding, granting them better computers, nicer buildings, desks, and supplies.

Educators always focus on test grades, can a student memorize a bunch of bullshit and circle a few bubbles in to get the correct answer. Just because a student can do this does not mean they have good teachers, nor does it display a sense of intelligence. I hate how everything revolves around numbers, and tests, lets teach students how to discuss what they are learning through conversations. Let them embrace their inner weirdo, and allow them to have more creative freedom for class assignments. Let the students choose the majority of their classes when they get into high school, economic classes should be provided to students, one in which gives them fake money, a fake job, and a fake salary, than a mortgage, phone bill, etc to show them how expensive the cost of living is especially when you are earning a low salary. Sex education should be in every public school across the country, it should provide students with FREE contraception, a look into how expensive it is to raise a child, and the risk of contracting an STD. I also believe better business classes should be offered, lets teach our kids how they can form their own businesses, social media classes should be offered, in today’s world so many people are having success because of social media. Nutrition classes should be provided, obesity is a growing epidemic in America, lets educate our youth on what is healthy, and unhealthy for their bodies. All in all I believe we need to make school more interactive, and teachers should want to educate not just go and collect a paycheck because their careers are extremely important to our youth.