Misery

To some degree, I am still a feisty teenager and I refuse to let the flame die out. I think being feisty makes me extraordinary and I shouldn’t have to apologize for it. And neither should you.

Why do some people feel the need to tell you how to live your life? When they do this to me it transforms me into a rebelliois teenager that lacks a filter. Don’t tell me how to think or how to live my life because that’s the way you live yours. There is no “right” way to live, so please shut your mouth. We are all unique humans and nobody should feel alienated, or brainwashed into believing the way they are living is incorrect.

The people that tend to do this are usually unhappy. I am not even kidding. So, you’re telling me to live like you but you’re miserable? I guess the saying is true misery needs company and they’re probably lonely. If you’re so lonely find a friend. Please don’t tell the rest of us how to live.

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OMG Shitty Friends

Shitty friends suck, but what is even worse is when YOU keep them around, because believe it or not, you have the power to kick them to the curb. I recommend you do this. What makes a shitty friend?

#1. If he/she blows up your phone on a regular basis to discuss their issues all day long; I guarantee it they’re a shitty friend.

#2. They can’t agree to disagree. They will continue to argue with you over incredibly dumb topics, and most of the time they don’t even have valid information to support their opinions. For the record, an opinion is an opinion if it were a fact it would be called a fact.

#3. They don’t support you. Enough said.

#4. They’re jealous of you. You find a good guy, and they’ll find everything wrong with him, because they’re lonely and single, and will be for the rest of their lives.

#5.They critique most of the stuff you do even when you don’t ask.

#6. When its your turn to vent, they respond with shit like “I’m being positive today”.

woman-tearing-hair-out                                                              (hercampus.com)

You’re such a pillowcase

heathers meme

We all know someone that was whacked with the dumb gene, and hey, not everyone can be intelligent, and there are plenty of ways to be intelligent, and this is part of what makes the world go round, but I am not going to get into that today. I am going to write some of the dumbest comments I have ever heard someone say, some of them were written, and others were verbal.

#1. “This guy put the date rape drug in my drink at the bar, but I was kind of happy he picked me, because I was fat”.

#2. “I put mayonnaise in my hair to keep it soft”

#3. “I gained a lot of weight because of my boyfriend”

#4. “Your snotty”

#5. “Your dumb”

#6. “Those that spit up in the air get it right back on them”

#7. “Where yo boyfriend at?” (not kidding someone said this to me the other day I did not jack it from the MAD Tv skit

#8. “Why you so cold”

What are some of yours? I know you have some!

xoxoxoxoxoxo

Red Sweat Shirt Dumbass

I always have crazy titles, because they make my blog posts appear interesting. I guess you can call it “false” advertising, but whatever, today’s post is about a guy in a red sweat shirt.

I am very much attracted to funny men, because they are usually ballsy, know how to have a good time, and I find it easy to open up to them. I am one of those people that has issues with allowing people to get to know me on an emotional level, because it makes me feel powerless. I have some issues…but don’t we all? Anyways, lets call this idiot RSSD. RSSD seemed really cool, but unfortunately, he made the six year old selling lemonade on the street corner appear mature. We only hung out twice, and it was clearly just that, there was nothing romantic behind our hang outs, we just shared one similar interest, and I am not going to say what it is. The second time we hung out he had the nerve to sit there and stick earphones in his ears, who does that???? I should have just walked out, but I didn’t, I stayed, and I am going to turn a negative experience with a dipshit into comedic inspiration..:)

RSSD is a brat, and at one point so was I. Let me explain, I grew up spoiled, and my parents always catered to me, and gave me more than enough, but eventually I grew out of that spoiled brat obnoxious give me my way or the highway mentality. Rotten people are drawn to those types, and who the hell wants to attract that? RSSD wants what he wants when he wants it and when he doesn’t get his way he acts out like a little boy. Like I did as a child when I threw a temper tantrum because  my parents wouldn’t get my a toy I wanted.

RSSD only wanted to hang out with me, because his dick wanted to chill inside of my vagina. I was definitely attracted to him, but wasn’t ready for that yet, and thats when his true colors started to show. That’s when he acted like a child, was in a pissy ass mood, and stuck those ear phones in his ears. My advice to RSSD is if you only want sex be straight forward about it, because you will attract another girl that just wants sex, and then you don’t have to act like a little boy, because you will get your way. My second piece of advice is you’re not 19 anymore, you are a grown man, and should know better by now. You should know that you need to RESPECT women, because clearly you don’t.

Happy Hump Day

XXXOXXXO

Guys That Play the Field

gif                                                              (Photo Credit: Reddit)

How old are you? If you’re past 23 years of age, and you continue to get played, then I apologize, but I don’t feel sorry for you :/. There are so many women out there that continue to fall for Mr. “I’m Just Gonna Bang You Until What I Want Comes Along”, and they fall for him time after time after time, then stay up all night crying and whining, because they think they got dumped. Wake up and smell the coffee, you were never in a relationship, so how the hell can you get dumped? If you’re hanging out with a guy and all you do is bang, THAT IS NOT A RELATIONSHIP!!! You have a friend with benefits, and if you cannot accept that then move on with your life, and find someone new. That guy is never going to be your boyfriend, you have more of a chance of farting rainbows, and eating fire than you ever will at getting that guy to be your boyfriend. It is the cold hearted truth.

Typically, guys that play the field target specific types of females, insecure and naive. They’re preying on the weak. I remember the first time I attracted a Mr.”I’m Just Gonna Bang You Until What I Want Comes Along”, I was 17. Let’s call this asshole Jeremy. He worked next door to me, and for some reason I thought he was super attractive (this was before I got contacts); my friends thought he was a butter face. He was a complete asshole to me, incredibly disrespectful and said some rude shit to me, and you know why he did that? I was insecure and allowed him to. I don’t attract Jeremy’s anymore, because I’m confident. Jeremy was nothing special, he wasn’t very intelligent, although he tried to make himself seem smarter than me, he didn’t hit the jackpot in the looks department, he wasn’t funny, and he was rude. I bet he works for a towing company now.

If you’re a female, and you are confident in yourself it scares these types of men away, because you come across as difficult, and they’re lazy, they want something easy.

If you have been the girl a guy just wants to bang until he finds what he wants on numerous occasions then you should know how to figure that out by now, and shouldn’t throw a bitch fit when he moves on to the girl he wants. If he ignores your texts, or texts back days later, it’s a clear indicator he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If he doesn’t talk to you about your passions, favorite music, family etc, and all he mentions is sex, he’s not interested in a relationship. Why is this so complicated?

Keep It Classy When You Tell Someone To Shut The F*** Up!

Happy New Years Everyone :). This is officially my first post for 2015, and I am going to make it an okay one, because my second post will contain something quite funny, and entertaining. Anyways, sometimes telling someone to shut the fuck off is rather rude, and just might make you appear classless and mean, and we wouldn’t want that now do we? I have come up with a few different ways to inform someone that they need to pipe the fuck down without saying the word fuck. If you have any please feel free to leave some comments below :).

finger

1. If someone is talking to you and what they’re saying is driving you insane simply ignore them. This works well if that person is trying to bring you down, or is having a blast amusing themselves by attempting to make you feel inferior to them. You don’t have time to deal with people’s insecurities, nor do you have time to fight with them about what they’re doing simply ignore it.

2. Walk away.Yes, get up and walk away from the situation. It will probably leave the person dumbfounded and baffled, but who cares. Just put one foot in front of the other and soon you will be walking out of the door 🙂

3. Say something witty but do it with a smile. When people try to attack you, or enjoy picking on you to get a reaction, they are trying to make you blow up in their faces, and usually this is so they can play the victim card, and if you do go all Hulk on their asses you will pay a price. So smile like a step-ford wife and say something witty.

Love you all and love your comments!!! tweet me @jaclynashley79