What I learned in 27 Years

This is inspired by Jenna Marbles latest video.

What have I learned in 27 years?

#1. Not everyone dies old. We grow up thinking we are invincible until we are old, and wrinkly, but that isn’t the case. There were kids I went to elementary school with that are no longer with us, and we are still in our 20’s.

#2. Those that get straight A’s in school may also be great at failing in life.

#3. Successful people may not necessarily be the most intelligent, but they are the most hard working, and aren’t afraid of making mistakes.

#4. The pretty, mean girls in high school grow up and get fat.

#5. Men really aren’t shallow.

#6. If you date the same type of person over and over again…you shouldn’t bitch when it doesnt work out.

#7.Trophy wives exist, but they get kicked to the curb when the guy finds a younger, hotter girl that just wants to have fun.

#8. Women cheat too.

#9. Most of the stuff your parents tell you as a kid turns out to be right.

#10. People bullshit…alot.

#11. People are full of excuses.

#12. You need more than money to be rich.

#13. Dogs have better morals than humans.


OMG Shitty Friends

Shitty friends suck, but what is even worse is when YOU keep them around, because believe it or not, you have the power to kick them to the curb. I recommend you do this. What makes a shitty friend?

#1. If he/she blows up your phone on a regular basis to discuss their issues all day long; I guarantee it they’re a shitty friend.

#2. They can’t agree to disagree. They will continue to argue with you over incredibly dumb topics, and most of the time they don’t even have valid information to support their opinions. For the record, an opinion is an opinion if it were a fact it would be called a fact.

#3. They don’t support you. Enough said.

#4. They’re jealous of you. You find a good guy, and they’ll find everything wrong with him, because they’re lonely and single, and will be for the rest of their lives.

#5.They critique most of the stuff you do even when you don’t ask.

#6. When its your turn to vent, they respond with shit like “I’m being positive today”.

woman-tearing-hair-out                                                              (hercampus.com)

Nicole Arbour “The Fat Shamer”

If you have been absent from social media this week, let me fill you in on some news..Nicole Arbour, YouTube personality, and  comedian created a video about how she felt about fat people, and pissed off the internet. I don’t agree with everything Nicole said, but I do think Nicole is entitled to crack a joke about whatever the fuck she wants to. Comedy is offensive. Comedy is a DEFENSE MECHANISM, perhaps, some fat person made Nicole’s life a living hell at one point, and they inspired her video. When she made fun of Instagram models basically implying they’re gold digging worthless humans, nobody gave a fuck, they laughed, why is poking fun at fat people any different? Joan Rivers said shit that was ten times worse! It really is just humor, people need to lighten up.

While some may perceive her as being a “bully”, I don’t, because she is a COMEDIAN! Lisa Lampenelli made an entire career off insult comedy. Sarah Silverman has also said some offensive remarks, which got her some heat for a few seconds, but she moved on. Comedians are offensive. When you tell a joke there is always a victim. In this case it was fat people, had she made a video about dumb blondes, skinny people, or poking fun at white people, nobody would have blinked an eye!

I am not trying to be insensitive. Personally, I usually don’t insult people through my comedy, typically, I am my own victim, because I believe its important for comedians to use themselves as the punching bag. I do make fun of women though, and how they think with their vaginas.Does that make a horrible human? Ugh.



Girls that Never Evolve into Women

I’m not a man basher, because my best-friend has always been male. I open up better to men. I like women too, and have always had female friends as well, but women get angry, and overly sensitive about pointless stuff, and I can’t sit there and always apologize for my crass remarks. This isn’t a blog post about me hating women, because of course I do not have hatred towards my own gender, but it’s just my own personal thoughts about why I believe some girls just don’t evolve.

There is a point in every female’s life when she wakes up and realizes she’s a woman. A woman with a strong character, thoughts, and strength. You realize you’re determined to get what you want out of your life, and that you have goals, and aspirations you’re destined to achieve. I saw this around 21. There are some girls that just don’t get it; they remain childish and foolish, throughout their adult years, and wonder why their lives are so messed up.

Women know when they’re in a relationship with a man. Women know when a man is just out to have a sexual relationship with them. There is a major different between an emotional, sexual relationship, and a flat out sexual one. We all view sex differently. Some women have sex with a man, and are instantly emotionally attached, while others just see it as an experience. When you evolve into a woman you can dictate who wants to just sleep with you, and who wants to date you. Sex is not dating. Just because you’re having sex with someone does not mean you are dating them. Why is this so difficult to comprehend? It is so basic yet females want to complicate stuff. Men are straightforward with THEIR ACTIONS! They let you know how they feel through their actions. If he texts you when its convenient for him, ignores you, only has sex with you, isn’t taking you out, you haven’t met any of his friends, he’s just in it for the sex, you’re not in a relationship! You’re certainly not a woman either, because a woman knows the difference, a woman has been through enough experiences to know this.


Pointless Controversy

Many of you may know, the VMAS were on last night. The show was filled with bullshit, attention whores and more bullshit, because MTV has become a network that exploits trash. The VMAs are no longer about music and art. It has become a show dedicated to celebrities causing pointless controversy. Don’t get me wrong, I love controversy, and I understand from a marketing perspective that it keeps stars relevant. I just cannot stand it when they cause controversy just to get their name in headlines. Use controversy to make a statement.

Nobody did controversy better than Madonna, and Miley Cyrus and her revealing outfits are nothing more than a cry for attention. They’re just tits Miley chill out. Madonna’s Like a Virgin VMA performance helped jump start her career, and inspired other artists like Britney Spears to also raise eyebrows during her VMA performances. Remember when Spears ripped off her suit to reveal a flesh colored bra, pants and her thong popping out? It enraged parents across America, including my own mother, but she was trying to reveal to the world she was no longer a little girl, and while Cyrus is trying to convey the same message, she does it in a completely different way. She goes over the top, and she really doesn’t need to. I think it is great when women express their sexuality, but there is a sexy way to do it, and then there’s the trashy way, and I think she always goes for the trashy way, because it’s easy. My generation loves easy. We want what we want and we want it now.

It was Britney Spears's second time at the VMAS--she'd debuted the previous year, singing a relatively tame version of her first single, "... Baby One More Time." But in 2000, she stepped up and changed the game, opening with a cover of the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction" (which she performed while dressed in a menswear-style pinstriped suit), before segueing into her hit "Oops! ...I Did It Again," and tearing off her shirt, jacket and pants to reveal a surprising nude-tone two-piece bodysuit.


Kanye West’s overdrawn out speech was a total publicity stunt, and Taylor Swift’s performance with the most talented woman in the entertainment industry Nicki Minaj was a complete joke. Where has the talent gone? Where is the substance? True artists make statements, they aren’t looking to be hash tagged just for the fuck of getting attention. Thoughts?