#TBT Fuck Beauty

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I was a realllyyyyyyy cute kid, and because of it, I was able to raise havoc and get away with it. Cute kids can pull stunts like that, but it wasn’t my cuteness that people around me focused on, it was my brains. I was always really bright, and incredibly creative, and I still am.

I am alittle sick and tired of blogs, memes, billboards, ads, magazines, etc trying to portray this “we are all beautiful bullshit”, no matter your size, age, color, height, gender, you get it, because it’s bullshit. I want to make a gigantic billboard that says “No matter what you look like you will get old, and ugly” end of story. Why can’t we focus on stuff that actually matters? Cindy Crawford was a super model in the 90s, she looks old, wrinkly, and ugly to me…her looks faded, just like every other pretty girl’s will. They don’t last forever. So, why can’t we focus on stuff that actually matters? Why not teach people that being genuine, is a whole lot cooler than being pretty, and being witty will actually get you farther than pretty. It will also attract people who GENUINELY give a flying fuck about you. Pretty people get used, that’s  one of the reasons why so many of them are screwed up in the head. They are constantly being judged.

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He Appears to be Diggin It But He Just Wants to Hit It.

Heterosexual females, I am your friend.

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I am your little Magic 8 ball (remember these assholes) with all of the answers. No, not really, but I always had a lot of male friends, because I bond better with men. They are more straight forward, always down to have a good time, and most men are sugar and no spice. I am going to help you figure out whether the guy you are seeing appears to be digging it but he just wants to hit it.

#1. He doesn’t want you to meet his friends. A dude that just wants to bang you could give a shit about  his buddies opinions, because he just wants your vagina, not your heart.

#2. He doesn’t want to be friends with you on Facebook, follow you on Twitter, or Ig (ya get it yet?) If he lies to you about having any of them…its a huge red flag for I just wanna hit it.

#3. He mentioned sex when you first met. Men that dig a chick won’t try and hit it too quick. They have conversations about a variety of topics, and none of them are sexual.

#4. His text messages look something like this “haha” “lol” “cool” its a really simple way to let someone know you’re not that into them.

#5. After you have sex he never texts you first.

#6. He doesn’t ever want to take you out REMEMBER “come over and watch a movie is guy code for come over and fuck me”

#7. He never brings you around family members, because again he doesn’t care what they think of you because he’s not serious about you anyway.

#8. He frequently ignores your texts, but will text you when he’s bored.

Self Wars, Insecurity & Good Men

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Thank-you for posting that Whitney Cummings!

Everyone has insecurities, EVERYONE, but that does not mean they are INSECURE. There is a fine line between disliking certain aspects of your personality, or wishing you could alter something about your physical appearance, we all know by now that we are flawed, it is part of life, and that’s that. Some of us are INSECURE individuals, and insecure people want to break others, because they dislike themselves. It is not rocket science, everything I am writing you have heard before, but I want to reiterate it because sometimes we get side tracked by all of the bullshit, and forget.

“Oh darling, you cant fix yourself by breaking someone else”

Mhm, it is very true. Nobody likes a bully. Bullies are tormented souls that hate themselves so badly, they go out of their way to break someone else so they too can feel pain.

I used to be attracted to emotionally abusive men, and unfortunately they tried to break me, because they were broken. I know all the warning signs, I know all the red flags, and I am so over dealing with these types of males. Treating a girl like garbage makes a guy a coward, and will only set him up for failure, because when the girl wises up she will leave, and he will be left all by his lonesome. #byeasshole

Anyways, here are some warning signs a guy is emotionally abusive.

#1. He has a bad relationship with his mother. A guy that has mommy issues more than likely has issues with respecting women.

#2. He blows up at you early on, and doesn’t understand why you’re pissed at him.

#3. After you break up, or stop dating, they come back for another round.

#4. They have crazy sisters with major issues.

#5. They have a push over for a mother.

#6. They’re spoiled rotten

Pretty Can’t Be Witty, and Women aren’t Funny

Women aren’t funny- Jerry Lewis

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Women are supposed to focus on their looks, because that is the most valuable attribute they have to offer society. Women need to be pretty, not witty, because heterosexual men want a pretty girl, not a smart one…

Pretty girls aren’t funny, or witty. Pretty women only really have one thing going for them…their looks, and once time decides to take them all away..they’ll be left with absolutely nothing.

WRONG. I think Lucille Ball, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler, and Iliza Shlesinger just to name a few are all attractive women that prove (proved) that a woman can be both pretty and witty. I also think Jerry Lewis can kiss my ass, because I’m pretty funny, and I own a vagina.

Who are some of your fav female comics?