Male Translations

Some broads just don’t get it.

I have always had a shit done of male friends, because I get along with men better than women. I like guys, because they’re more straightforward, and they don’t get mad over stupid shit, and they don’t act catty. I also have a really dirty sense of humor, and it pisses some broads off, and I don’t give a flying fuck, I have an offensive mouth, get over it. Some females just cant read men, or they’re delusional or they’re in denial, but here are some male translations, take it or leave it, the truth hurts.

He says: Want to come over and watch a movie?

He Means: Want to come over and have sex with me?

He isn’t being an asshole. Which one sounds better? Which one sounds more appealing? Exactly.

He says: I don’t want a relationship with you.

He means: I just wanna bang you.

It is what it is.

He says: I don’t have time for a relationship right now.

He means: I just wanna bang you.

The truth hurts. Deal with it.

He says: I don’t have time to have sex this week.

He means: I have another chick, and I am just keeping you in my phone book in case it doesn’t work out with her.

He says: I don’t like girls that wear a lot of makeup, because they’re vain and high maintenance.

He means: I’m intimidated by you, because you’re attractive, and a lot of guys want to bang you OR some girl that wore a lot of makeup fucked me over, therefore I try to date someone that’s the complete opposite of her, because than it will work out!

He says: You’re stupid.

He means: You’re attractive and I am afraid of you, therefore, I am going to take some stereotypical dig at you to make you feel bad about yourself.

He says: You’re a really pretty girl, and I really like you.

He means: Just that exactly that no bullshit.

He says: You drive me insane.

He means: I’m starting to fall in love with you.


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