Ah, Yes, We Don’t Want to Hear it

“There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you.”- J.K. Rowling

Our parents helped mold who we are. They taught us the basics about life, helped build our characters and lifted our spirits when we were down. They helped teach us right from wrong, and attempted to guide us onto a path that would hopefully lead us to some wonderful destination. That is how they are supposed to be, but some people do not get that lucky, and they are victims of horrible parenting, which does indeed fuck them up. Bad parenting can turn innocent children into adults who constantly make bad decisions causing them to feel helpless. 

My parents are utterly insane, but they are not bad, and throughout my life, both of them have been present. Sometimes their views about certain issues are backwards and old school, but nobody is perfect. I have my own mind. 

Over the years, I have witnessed the negative effects of bad parenting. It makes them date horrible people, and many suffer from low self esteem. This sucks, but I can only empathize for I cannot truly relate to them because I am not a victim of bad parenting. I can say this though, and do not see me as being insensitive or unkind, but there is a deadline for blaming your past for your present and future fuck ups. After a while, fucking up becomes a choice you choose to make. Healing is not easy, but it can be done. 

(Sorry this is a bit off track, but it has a good pt)

When I was a Freshmen in college, I was placed on academic probation because my GPA had fallen below 2.0. When I was sitting in the counselors office, my 18 year old self thought I could totally bullshit this highly educated woman who has about 15 years on me. I attempted to blame my GPA on someone else, but she said “oh no, you did this to YOU”, and this was one of those moments that got  mind videotaped and stored on the brain’s shelf. 

Part of growing up is learning how to own up to what we do wrong and not do it again. It is accepting that we are human and fuck up, but having the ability to discontinue doing what we did that caused the fuck up.

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5 Comments

  1. It’s hard owning up to your own problems… especially when all you want to do is drink riesling out of an oversize wine glass, complain and blame everything on the nearest person (sigh). Just kidding (kind of) but I can totally relate to this. My very comfortable, fortunate life should leave me nothing to complain about but I still manage.

    Reply

  2. “After a while, fucking up becomes a choice you choose to make.” Amen to that. I’ve loved the blame game far too long and it got me nowhere, if anything it lead to things being more fucked up. Owning up to your shit is hard, but it needs to done. I love how you put that thought into words. 🙂

    Reply

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